LOST

Just feeling a bit down...

So many decisions and some I dread,

Walking zombie I feel like I'm dead.

Anger in me the frustration to much,

I feel like I am traveling out of touch.

No where to go no one shall I speak,

Minds flipping pages all to bleak.

I guess my poison was to strong,

Comfort and love was all I long.

Now I say I am caught in a loop

Hopelessly romantic sat in a coop

Maybe one day I shall meet one,

That longs for the same and be done.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I think your message is well-stated . . . I'm getting the idea that this narrator is in a funk & then the ending suggests that finding another person of a similar mind will suddenly make things better. This is foolish thinking (my opinion), but lots of people look at it this way (putting too much emphasis on finding a relationship to fix one's life), so you've definitely captured the theme of "being rescued from one's own thinking" in a totally fresh way. A couple of your rhymes feel like you're reaching instead of finding the perfect words for this message (long, coop).

[Bohrium Guy]

Most of my writing is a longing to be. I get mooded and write what I feel at that moment. So you could say I flip-flop in my thoughts. Some come my minions who play a game called "Word Play" where as someone gives me a word and I poem the theme around it. However still the theme is dependant on my mood at that moment.

Thanks for the great review and yes I do long for someone but I know that its not going to be a cure all.

~Rob~