Wonderful poem! A character study fashioned in flowing, visual, creative and emotional depth. Kudus. A small contribution of my own:
Jagged are the shards of words he forced through rotted teeth,
A sanctimony fetid, greedy, grasping, cruel and cheap,
Yoked poorly to tradition he can never understand,
Gone truant – without reason – laughter, love for fellow man.
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
Thank you for this thoughtful read. Your added lines are powerful, and I appreciate the care you bro.. read moreThank you for this thoughtful read. Your added lines are powerful, and I appreciate the care you brought to them. It means a lot to me that the poem spoke to you.
I hesitate to say but you know this man, this so-called teacher and are wary of him. By the way you have so ably described him you have known him in the broadest sense for some time.
Damn. It's amazing what brilliance questionable people can bring out of a person. If this were about me, I'd be tempted to frame this, and better myself after.
This man sounds like an amalgam of many. I read the other day narcissists are always the guy who runs the companies and controls the narratives. I think you may have written about that type here.
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
Me too, Relic. He feels like a figure made of many shadows, all those men who try to bend the world .. read moreMe too, Relic. He feels like a figure made of many shadows, all those men who try to bend the world with their own reflection. He’s stitched from familiar echoes, the kind you recognize before he even speaks.
This is some skill, your writing is totally exceptional. The flow of the poem is so exquisite. You carry my eyes from here to there.
I admire the description of this male character. Even though he is mistaken, he seems to be emotionally aware of himself. Holding his cards close to his chest. Mysterious, questionable and mindful.
An impressive read. This has inspired me to write a bit more clearly and straight to the point.
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
Thank you so much, Rosie. Your words mean a lot. I’m delighted the piece resonated with you, and i.. read moreThank you so much, Rosie. Your words mean a lot. I’m delighted the piece resonated with you, and it makes me happy to know it sparked something in your own writing.
Very well written; this man seems to think he is bigger than himself in many ways you describe so well...it seems that he is rather ordinary, fearful, maybe looked over, surely does not stand out in a crowd, more like others ignore his oddness.... others don't seem to listen to his words..for they make no sense.."he is not the gatekeeper"... he is not a leader of any kind ...he is ordinary and tries to hide it...by knighting himself as worthy...yet he is outside of being ordinary..."he is merely a footnote..."
Warmly, B
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
Thank you, B. You see him with such clarity, and I’m grateful for the care in your reading.
Curly!
This brilliant. First, the subject! People who believe they know what they are talking about! So now I must think before I say anything, because I wonder if all my wisdom is borrowed, plagiarized, trite, maybe even wrong. It sounds as though you could put a name at the top, but this is universal, and we should all give ourselves pause before we speak. But no one does. I have sat in lectures and business meetings too, where this man was at the podium... unfortunately, just as memorable as the ones who lit the room on fire. The whole exercise tickles my guts, imagining you sitting bored, and the notes you took are stanzas in this poem.
Vol
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
Vol, you always catch the undercurrent. I wasn’t thinking of any one man so much as that familiar .. read moreVol, you always catch the undercurrent. I wasn’t thinking of any one man so much as that familiar figure we’ve all endured — the one who mistakes certainty for wisdom and volume for vision. You’re right, he shows up everywhere: classrooms, boardrooms, podiums, break rooms. I’ve met him more times than I care to count.
And yes, sometimes the only way to survive those moments is to turn the boredom into notes, and the notes into a poem.
Thank you for reading the way you do...with humor, with honesty, and with that gut‑tickled imagination of yours.
Wonderful poem! A character study fashioned in flowing, visual, creative and emotional depth. Kudus. A small contribution of my own:
Jagged are the shards of words he forced through rotted teeth,
A sanctimony fetid, greedy, grasping, cruel and cheap,
Yoked poorly to tradition he can never understand,
Gone truant – without reason – laughter, love for fellow man.
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
Thank you for this thoughtful read. Your added lines are powerful, and I appreciate the care you bro.. read moreThank you for this thoughtful read. Your added lines are powerful, and I appreciate the care you brought to them. It means a lot to me that the poem spoke to you.
This is a strong write that fits our current world (not just one person) so well. Great job. ~Jim
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
Thank you, Jim. I’m glad the piece resonated that way for you. I appreciate you taking the time to.. read moreThank you, Jim. I’m glad the piece resonated that way for you. I appreciate you taking the time to read it.
Some sparks linger, tender and captivating, leaving us undone. -Curly Grace
I'm an Artist by nature. I see the world in a different way than most. I find beauty in everything.
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