Awaken The Dead

Awaken The Dead

It's dark and raining outside. I can smell the dampened mold as I climb the stone stairwell. In a circular room at the top of the tower, there is only a large wooden table. On the table lies an old dusty book. Dancing shadows spring from the torches lining the slate gray walls. There is a single barred window cut from the stone.
As I walk towards the book, I hear something besides the rain coming from the window. Suddenly what appears to be the hands of a child, wrap around the bars from the outside. Though I can sense something is wrong, I am entranced by the warm pastel colors of the babys’ flesh. They are like that of a Michelangelo painting, so rich and deep. As I begin to walk towards them, I hear a childs laughter.
Suddenly a hideous beast springs it's head up into view, as the arms transform into grotesquely malformed limbs of black fur and bone. It's head is that of a gremlin, with eyes as deep as hell itself. Long black fingernails scrape along the stone as the beast rocks back and forth outside the window. It's evil laughter is powered by the screams of tortured souls from within its throat.
My hair flows from a long golden blonde to a dead silver before my eyes. I reach for my sword, but my flesh has transformed into that of an old man. Too weak to lift the weight of the blade, I try to turn but I realize my feet are held in place by force.
I look down to see my legs are entwined by gnarled roots, stemming from a swirling black hole beneath me.

The roots wrap around me further and begin to pull me lower into the stench of death. As the air begins to escape my lungs, I look above me to see the bottom of the gray stone floor again sealing the spot where I last stood.

 

Reviews

[Derek Cummings]

I liked your choice of words and how you used description. I could see the scenes as if it were a movie or video game.
I realized this is an old post. I'm new to this site. I was wondering if you ever finished it.

[Mason]

You bring a strong presence of "what is" in the story. Have you had dreams of falling? Or not being able to move your legs when you must run? It seems you outline a similar concept with this, the inner ego being challenged by the world around it. It's a strong piece with excellent imagery.

[Faheem Akhter]

nice

[s]

Intriguing! I really like how you keep the theme of sudden upheaval throughout. It's as though I started looking down at a whirlpool and I suddenly get thrown in. I twist and turn in a world with no foundation, not knowing where I'm going or what's happening. After several moments of reading I surface and gain some semblance of where I am and what's going on. I look back at what had just happened with relief mingled with the excitement of someone who just about lost a limb but came back whole. But just as I gain purchase under my feet I loose them again as soon as read this lovely ending. Great job there!

My only complaint is that there isn't a second chapter! GET TO IT SIR! =)

-Senirra

[Julie Dant]

Hey! Don't stop NOW!! ;0) What a talented writer you are, Brian. I would love to read more of this. Got more? ;0)
Julie