You

Funny
I can think of a million words
describing the
pain
hate
emotions
aching
tears
emptiness
but i still can't 
describe 
how I feel about you
all the years of
abuse
pain
lies
torture
You continue this battle
to cut me open
to watch me bleed
yet
I apologize
I forgive
I forget
Only to be sliced open again
only to bleed more
Why can't I leave
forgive myself
move on
Why do you 
have this power over me
How deeply
do you need to cut me open
How much
blood do I need to spill
before this will end
Do I need to die
for you to love me
to be proud of me
to be happy with me
the real me