Tainted

Driven snow, pure and untouched

Sprinkled on the grass

The headlights of the distant cars

Cast soft lights as they pass

How beautiful the whiteness is!

How innocent it seems!

For cruel reality has not appeared

To rip apart her dreams

 

Only fate would be so wicked

As to touch the spotless snow

 Only fate would ever dare

To taint the virgin’s glow

Then life paints a crimson stain

That blots the sheet of white

A coat of shame, a blanket of pain

Lies hidden by the night

Tarnished, it is beautiful no longer

 It is admired no more

And so I bow my head and weep

For the loss of something pure

 

Reviews

[theking]

THANK YOU SO MUCH! God, I have been waiting forever to come across a poem that has a consistent rhyming scheme, and you did it! You actually put the time into making a poem that flows the whole way through entirely because of the fact that it is consistently rhyming. Wow, you just gave me such intense relief. Thank god.

Okay, now done with my dramatization, and on to my review of the poem. So, I am sure by now you know that what I am really happy about is the rhyming. I love it, I think that its simple. I also love the multiple different little analogies that you came up with to represent tainted in our every day lives. I feel like that too was the result of a lot of creativity and work, so I am really grateful for that.

Normally, I try to point out some negative things for constructive criticism, but for some reason I cannot seem to find anything wrong with this. I am sorry if my review is lacking because I cant tell you anything to improve upon, but this poem is really just fantastic. A great piece!

Keep up the good work, and if you liked my review please rate it :)

[Daniel Hebert]

I love the vivid imagery that you used, even in the form of analogies, as it paints a perfect picture of what you are trying to convey. The indirect and highly metaphorical way that you treat the subject perfectly compliment the mood and tone of the poem. An incredibly interesting and well-written work, overall.