Stopped Watched

A Story by Child of God

short story

I feel trapped. Not just in my home town, but in time as well. Every day I walk the same streets struggling with fantasy, and reality. I see my past so vividly, that nothing else seems real. I can still see Zac sitting in the gym waiting for me, and smiling as I walk in the room. I remember my last official day of school. I arrived early so I could watch the gym lights come on, I wanted to watch her wake up one last time. As I stood there in the dark, I took a good long look around at what I was leaving behind. It was at that very moment that I realized I was giving up the only place I had ever called home. Then I proceeded to walk the empty halls watching my life with every step, and even though I was I alone I could still hear the voices of the ones I'd grown close to. Even now I can still see the smiles that graced their faces. I walked to the steps I would soon be walking to receive my diploma, and I gazed teary-eyed at the football field. I saw the many football games that filled us all with what we were taught was Handley pride. I walked through every classroom I had ever had, and I saw faces not seats. As I reentered the gym, I saw basketball games, gym classes, and pep rallies. I was realizing how close to the end I really was. I had never been more scared in my entire life. After school, it seemed like time had stopped. My friends were gone, but their memories remained. Even when everything around me was changing, my life remained dormant. I walked through the park remembering endless summers of baseball games, swimming, and trips to a playground that no longer exists. I looked at my old middle school, and I saw my younger self walking the halls laughing with the first group of friends I felt comfortable with. I looked at my former home, and saw the ruins of my childhood that was still inhabited by my mother. I gazed at what used to be my babysitter's house. It's now an overgrown mess of trees and brush. The apple tree I spent many years in now lays broken, and smothered by vines. Everyone, and everything around me was either changing, or dying. The only thing that never changed was that one park bench hidden between two trees beside the pond. The same bench I had sat on a thousand times, listening to the soothing sound of the fountain. The same bench where I sat with the only person to ever make me truly happy. The bench that plays host to my favorite of all memories. It was where I would watch her smile as she laid her head on my shoulder. Where I would gaze into her eyes, and stare at the wonder that was her soul. It's the place where I was the happiest in all my life. In many ways that bench is me, and tomorrow I will wake up and continue the cycle. I know some day soon I will leave this place, and it's memories behind. It will be the day my clock will tick once more, and time will finally move forward. So if you're ever looking for me after I'm gone, just go to that park bench and you will find me.