What was given

In the beginning, it always leads to an end

The first two were given a sight so true that their nakedness bore, to them, no view.
Handed paradise, as they were made in his image and given all,
Only asked to not take from one thing,
Why give curiosity but take away the ableness to choose.
If we give 2nd chances then why should we give our lives to this book.
Changed through the times, as proven, so why let our lives be soothed,
By something interpreted to make a society kneel and pray for tainted untruths.
They say curiosity killed the cat but that's just a way of saying,
That if you look into the shadows where society doesn't allow,
You'll plough into a room to see sights where the proprietors shrouds show shocking comings.
Damnation is a karma deserved if you live without listening to all sounds and silent hummings,
Eden can be what you make it as long as you can absorb humanities subtle cries
Behind the loud drumming.
Life's noise is so stunning ,
I say this because I lay in a place and a state where I choose to stop running.
What was given can never be taken because you made that journey,
You were the only seed among thousands, maybe more, so keep gunning
Hunting is only predatory when you're searching for weaknesses that make you unworthy of true becomings.
I wish I knew,
I wish I had all the answers,
Truth is I'm just a page in this occuring...
Where I go from here,
Who knows
But at least it'll end an unknown occurrence,
I feel from within I hope stops stirring.

Author's Note

All comments welcome

Reviews

[Ms claws]

Neville, without applying the poem to a story, it seems the author is questioning the beginning of human beings.
Here is the lesson: Obey God. He is our Creator. The Trinity are powerful as One: God, the Father. God, the Son. God, the Holy Spirit.
If you mess up, ask forgiveness in His Son's name.
Jesus died as a Sacrifice so we can have a chance to live forever.
(Sin and God do not dwell together.)
Nice provocative poem.

[JayG]

So as I remember, the "serpent" had its legs removed for telling the truth. But the reason that aside, I REALLY wonder why, in pictures showing Eve and the serpent BEFORE she has that snack, they don't show a six-foot-long, four-legged Boa Constrictor. You would think those who paint those pictures might read the text, first.

That aside, this piece is a short philosophical essay on your personal views. Nothing wrong with that. But...does chopping it into short lines magically turn it into a poem? If so, EVERYTHING written is a poem.

My point is that they've been refining the skills of poetry for centuries. Take advantage of that and you skip the traps, and hit the reader, emotionally, in an interesting—to them—way.

Try a few chapters of Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook for fit. It's filled with little surprises and gems of knowledge.

And for metrical poetry, jump over to Amazon and read the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled. What he has to say about the flow of words in a given language is brilliant.