Stepping into the big world

I Guess this is what we can call the inbetween stage...... Im a naughty teething toddler, confused about the mechanics of my body.

Stepping into the big world...

 

I've been alive a little while now

but still restricted to the floor,

I can see the world around me

but have to sit here while i bore.

 

I'm give toys that make cute noises

and bells above my bed,

unintentionally insult my intellegence

and what goes on inside my head.

 

i know i can use my hands

and i watch my parents as they walk,

but i cant quite find my balance

and my mouth wot seem to talk.

 

I'm determined and im curious

so i decide to soldier on,

use both my hands and knees to crawl

and my bum a cushion to fall upon.

 

If there is something to be broken,

pulled on or torn apart,

you can be sure that i will find it

and this will only be the start.

 

Because im not quite yet a teenager

and im not an adult thats for sure,

im a naughty teething, toddler

making my parents pay cause my gums are sore.

 

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

This is still unique perspective! Very good rhyme scheme, subject and tone. The flow in this poem is a little off.The second stanza is great, as is the third. In the fourth stanza, it would help the flow alot, without losing meaning, if you dropped the word cushion from the last line, instead," and my bum to fall upon." The fifth stanza is great. The last stanza has a problem with the flow due to the second line. Perhaps you could use, "and I'm not an adult, for sure!" Same meaning, but you don't trip over the sentence:) I think it's an excellent poem with a little editing and of course, spell check! Barbara