The Friend Who Brings Light.

You are the kind of friend
who comforts the soul
on a lonely night...

The kind of presence
that does not judge,
does not rush to fix,
does not turn away
when the heart needs a companion...

You simply stay...

In the quiet hours... when sadness sits heavy in the room,
when silence feels deeper than words... You become a safe haven...

You listen with patience,
you care without conditions,
and your presence alone
begins to ease the hidden pain...

You are the quiet, steady breath in the corner of the darkest, most vulnerable hour within a troubled soul...

For the lonely night
often marks the lowest point,
a time of trembling thoughts,
of shadows and uncertainty...

Yet in that darkness,
you arrive like a quiet light…

And sometimes the greatest gift
a friend can offer
is not a solution...

but a presence strong enough
to help another soul
endure the night
until the morning returns...
Carl Nicolas.

Reviews

[JayG]

• "You are the kind of friend who comforts the soul on a lonely night..."

1. Why would you say that about me? And what’s the “soul” I’m comforting. The “soul” as in, “Not a soul was around?” The “soul,” as in the part of you that supposedly goes to heaven? Or...? You know what meaning you intend, but your intent never makes it to the page. And given that you provide no context...
2. You're misusing the ellipsis. You're neither trailing off nor leaving out information. The point above ends with a trailing off of the thought, with the rest of the thought implied. But you're ending a ful and complete sentence with an ellipsis.

• "The kind of presence that does not judge, does not rush to fix, does not turn away when the heart needs a companion..."

1. You wrote this piece as an essay, then chopped it into short lines. In fct, you left the spaces at the end of the line where you inserted the line feeds. A chopped-up essay does not magically become a poem.
2. You’re telling the reader things about themselves that you cannot possibly know—as if you know it to be true—then go on, extrapolating as if it is true. In other words, sophistry.

You open by praising the reader as being exemplary in every way. But then, you lecture that same wonderful person about things that such a person already knows.

And looking over the other ten pieces you dumped in today, as if honoring the members with your poetry, pretty much all of them are presented as a lecture. And who comes to poetry to be lectured? Readers want to borrow your imagination and be entertained. They come to poetry to be made to feel and care. My favorite example of that is the lyric to the song, "The Twelfth of Never," released in 1957. Look at the opening:
- - - - -
You ask how much I need you, must I explain?
I need you, oh my darling, like roses need rain.
You ask how long I'll love you; I'll tell you true:
Until the twelfth of never, I'll still be loving you.
- - - - -
Notice the clever trick played on the reader: The speaker is replying to a question the reader supposedly asked, placing that reader INTO the poem, as the beloved who has asked that question. And since it’s one we might ask of someone who loves us, the answer is inherently interesting (especially since, if it’s a good answer we might use it).

So with “You ask,” and without realizing why, the reader is emotionally involved. That’s brilliant writing, because this one line makes the rest of the poem meaningful to the reader.

In response to the question of how long their commitment will last, the speaker dismisses it as supposedly obvious. Yet it’s a critical question, so the seeming disconnect again draws the reader in, with the unspoken comment of, "Well yes, you absolutely must tell me, because I need to know." So, given the attitude placed into the reader with that thought, it feels as if the poem is directed at us. And that’s a HUGE hook. Right?

The response is 100% allegorical. It says, in effect, “I can’t live without you,” but does it in a pretty and interesting way.

The question/answer sequence then continues with a clever twist, Love will end, but on a date that’s an impossibility.

It’s emotion-based writing that calls up context that already exists in the reader/listener’s mind. But even had they never heard the expression “like roses need rain,” it would be instantly meaningful.

It’s part of a song, but this first verse, for me, is a perfect example of emotion-based poetry.

Let's take it one step further, and look at the FLOW. It's metrical poetry, so it rhymes. But notice that the rhymes aren't the obvious Moon/June type, and the words fit the thought so well that the rhyme seems incidental, an accent rather than a drumbeat. And, each line has the same cadence: seven beats per line that the reader, or singer, will fall into, enhancing the experience.

Make sense?

Aside from being exemplary poetry, it’s a pretty song. The most popular version of it was recorded by Johnny Mathis in 1958, A live recording, later in his career, is here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PnPnSjCUnc

In general, avoid talking TO the reader. They can’t hear you, so all the emotion you may place into your voice when you read it is gone for the reader. That’s why having the computer read your work to you is an excellent editing trick that picks up a lot you’d otherwise miss when editing.

[Davidgeo]

There is a zero percent chance you didn't use chatgpt to "write" this review. Wtf is wrong with you dude? On a site like this? Is it really going that bad for you out there? Man you need to seek intensive professional therapy.