The Letter C...

A poem of feelings felt with the letter C diagnoses.

Silent outside, screaming within,

sitting in the waiting room,

white walls are closing in, its grim,

waiting for potential doom.

 

Anxiety suffocating breath,

Then a white coat calls my name,

What fate awaits? Baited breath,

Will things ever be the same?

 

Panic consuming rational thought,

My feet dragging needing to steady,

Heavy concrete, chair I sought,

White coat talking “are you ready?”

 

Yes I whisper, no secretly,

Mind shut off, just after three words,

How can anyone be quite ready?

“You have cancer”, that was all I heard.

 

Stone cold receiver of this news,

With a blank stare I sit and gaze,

Panic silenced by dismay,

As his lips crawl along his face.

 

I feel a wave wash over me,

One of sadness, loss and grief,

Not the calmness of the sea,

A storm takes hold relentlessly.

 

Feeling lost, is this real?

Stumbling away from the white walls,

Is that the cause of the pain I feel?

As my heart begins to fall.

 

No it can’t be, pinch myself,

Denial taking hold of me,

Ripped into depression as I delve,

Down into the bitter abyss freely.

 

Taste of salt dries my throat,

I can’t talk, waves take me please,

Reality sets in, a nasty host,

I can’t believe it’s the letter C.

 

Panic, anxiety, it subdues,

Deep down hiding it resides,

Ready, waiting all askew,

Calmness, acceptance overrides.

 

How can I tell the ones I love,

This is the card being dealt,

It is fated from above,

A lonely feeling is one that’s felt.

 

A burst of strength sat down inside,

I come up and gasp for air,

I have the courage for this ride,

I wade to shore, away from fear.

 

I am determined to survive,

The letter C can be fought,

Every day that I’m alive,

A victory home, will be brought.

Author's Note

Feedback would be great :) Hope you enjoy it.

Reviews

[Broken Wings]

My prayers are with you through this hard time. Such a brave soul... this gave me insight on the turmoil that cancer patients go through when they find out this horrible news. I was glued to it all the way through. My heart goes out to anyone and everyone who is affected by this disease. I lost my grandmother to it 2 years ago, she battled with breast cancer and ovarian cancer and it spread. Although I wasn't as close as I wanted to be with her, her strength and love always shined through, as does yours.

[DJ]

Thank you Broken Wings, I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for your kind words and support, its appreciated. All the best to you my friend.

[Broken Wings]

No problem :) Keep fighting.

[MFAtkinson]

Deeply heartfelt by your writing. It means a lot for sharing with us and I thank you. Anyone with the cancer needs supportive to be encouraged and be faithful in any possibility ways. My prayer goes for you and for whom goes through it all.

[London's Lily]

It is very humbling to be let inside the mind of one who has experienced that dreadful day. I could feel my heart speed up as you described your own anxiety, waiting for the diagnosis, and I could feel the lung-bursting race to the surface as you "come up and gasp for air." And something else that struck a chord was this line: "How can I tell the ones I love" because there you were, in what had to be the worst day of your life to that point, and you had the frame of mind to still somehow consider your loved ones, and how they would feel about it. Remarkable, admirable, person you are. I both love and hate this poem. I love how you've written it, and I hate that you had to.

p.s. Kick it REALLY hard, right in the... nah, I won't say it ;)
*hugs*

[DJ]

Thank you again Lily, your words bring so much comfort my friend. You are too kind and have certainly humbled me today. I'll keep fighting hard and kick its *** hahaha Thank you so much my friend :)

[Douglas White]

I've lost friends to the letter C, lost my brother to it too. That's a hell of a thing to have to face. You should take this and post this everywhere you can find a place to share it, so that other C warriors know they are not alone. Strength be with you, my friend.

[DJ]

Thank you so much Douglas, your support and encouragement means a lot. I am so sorry for your loss... C is a horrible beast, taking many far too young.

[Tom]

An inspirational poem, magnificent write, quite brilliant I can't praise it enough!

Well done !

[DJ]

Thank you so much Tom, that means a lot to me my friend.

[Katho28]

This poem was very inspirational.. I like the transition from hopelessness to one of hope - it shows that you truly have a fighting spirit :) I really like your use of waves/sea to show this progression and contrast... strong and poignant - well done. Thank you for sharing and inspiring...

[DJ]

Thank you so much Katho for taking the time to read it and review. I thank you even more for the words of kindness, they are very much needed today. I appreciate it my friend.

[Katho28]

No worries.. :) You have a way with words that is inspirational, and your fighting spirit is even more so :)

[DJ]

Thank you so much, you made me smile on a bad day :)

[Katho28]

you're welcome.. I'm glad :)

[Electric Scribe]

Much love to you for posting this. It is truly unfortunate, and my prayers are asking for guidance and protection for such a beautiful soul to break free of the chains of the letter C.

[DJ]

Thank you so much ElectricScribe, I appreciate it, I am always grateful for any prayers you send my way.

[Electric Scribe]

I always try to create a family vibe where ever I happen to be. The moment I joined this site we became family. The prayers are there to stay for life.

[DJ]

Awww thank you so much... what a beautiful soul you are, I really like the vibe you create, keep being awesome :D

[Electric Scribe]

Right on!!!!! Thank you very much =)

[lee von cleef]

double d in my phone for my sis, her #,hope is hope , but believe in something, good luck live today...

[DJ]

Thank you Lee :)

[Kelly Scheppers]

In writing what you have here, you have shown how poetry can truly be a catharsis, no matter the battle. I hope each tomorrow will bring you the comfort of friends, the warmth of compassion, and the overwhelming release of peace!


My best,
Kelly

[DJ]

Thank you so much for your kind words Kelly, truly a comfort in themselves.

[Mina]

I love the poem so much ...
The alliteration used with letter 'C' shows the outburst and the sadness.
Its such a alluring write that my heart feels truly connected with all the emotions described x

[DJ]

Thank you so much Mina, your kind words humble me. Thank you for understanding the emotions I wrote.