Shadow love

Short poem about a secret love affair

Love

hidden

in the shadow

of my soul,

burning

heavy and dark

 

In a sphere of blinding light

two souls

wild and soft

restless and true

melt.

 

Time and space

--if transcended--

setting them free. 

Author's Note

English is not my first language, but I feel this poem gets close to decent.

I am really interested to get any feedback - thanks in advance!

Reviews

[horizon]

Language sometimes doesn't matters in front of our feelings....and your were fair enough to express the feelings which came to my heart..and I felt the poetry...very beautiful

[CalamityJane]

Thank you so much horizon. In this world I think we all need to connect to our deep and tender feelings a bit more (the Trump aftermath is so cold and disheartening)

[horizon]

Very. True..

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This is a nice read! Love is indeed as you say "burning heavy and dark" and yet we strive all our life to acquire it. Nicely penned ☺

[CalamityJane]

It is strange isn't it how love can be heavy and dark yet also lift us high to the sky?

[CalamityJane]

I am thinking of taking two more words out: "Two lives" then it would read
Time and space
read moreI am thinking of taking two more words out: "Two lives" then it would read
Time and space
--if transcended--
setting them free

[CalamityJane]

I find that once you start writing a poem - in finishing off it really helps taking as many words out of it without losing meaning.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You are right! That would be nice ☺

[marilyn 1225]

you are definitely in love and express your secret so well good job

[CalamityJane]

Thank you so much marilyn. I had been reading some work by Allen Ginsberg that somehow inspired me. Especially his poem Song.

[marilyn 1225]

excellent keep reading poems and literature!!