Where Am I Going?

A Poem by Cam Lit

A poem that highlights the confusion of where life leads.

They tell me I'm worth it
I don't deserve it
Where am I going
Without ever knowing the way?
I deal with all this bullshit
What do you want me to say?
If I was gonna give up
I'd done it a while ago
Sometimes, I just don't know
But I keep my head high and
My seat down low.

Drivin with out arm out
The window I can't afford
A f****n' directional yet
I still angle my hands to let everyone know
I'm headed this way or that way
But I won't tell you when I'm goin straight
Just like I am now
Always goin the same way

When will it change?
Never.
It'll never get better.
California will sink into the sea
Perhaps some day maybe spontaneously
We'll just blow up
Hooray for me
Last man alive
First man to die?
That's the kind of s**t I like.

Flat out conundrums
Some can be easy but some
Yeah, they're hard
Like me?
I f****n' belong on Mars
I'm not human
I'm a beat and I'm sick
But I'll just keep groovin'
Won't stop movin'
This feeling.
It's like ecstasy
Or perhaps that's what it is really.

Hey you, over there - you sellin' roofies?
I like it.
I got the dough you gonna let me buy me it?
Fine then.
I'll retire myself
To another planet where I can sit beside myself
And point out my flaws
Cover them up with a bandage stop the bleeding with gauze
I'm a f****n' rebel without a cause.

You've heard this before
Am I starting to bore?
Forget that I asked I don't really care
You'll listen anyways you got nothin better to do
Pass the time smokin dope eatin mushrooms
Light the bowl grind it up
Parents comin' home better hurry up
That's not my dad at the door
Cam, don't answer it's an officer!

We can, blog about this situation
Or we can go out maybe do it again?
I'm wanted in the court house
It's over for me
NOT!

I just keep pumpin'
My heart yeah it's thumpin'
Every deep breath brings it to a slow
What's that a bullet hole?
Oh no.
The heart goes weak it tries and tries
The shooter, damn he's sly
My friends bust him open
But still, I die.