Weary Loube Section 1 Chapter 1

 Book 1 

Section 1

Year 43,460 A.G. 

Winter.

Chapter 1

Sid Enoo arrived in downtown Markaedium to the protest of ten thousand people gathering to boycott the new Opiumlite drinks with nanobots in the formula.  Sid Enoo looks upon the enormous crowd hoping to find Natelia in the audience and finally sees her behind the stage, holding up a sign that reads “Down with president Dictadur Triunfeo and his monopoly”.  

He waves at her and she smiles in recognition and yells, “Hey Sid, glad you could make it.”

  He makes his way over to her and when he arrives says, “yes, I couldn’t miss it.  Addiction to Action is a brilliant idea, are you happy with the turnout?”

  She replies, “you could say that, but I just want it to initiate the necessary change so that we no longer live under President Dictadur Triunfeo’s fake market with Partitioner M.”

  Sid giggles a little and says, “One step at a time Mz. Ophen.  The market will be free someday, even though it has been ten years of our lives under these two.  I want the freedom as well, and it looks like many people agree with you.  Why aren’t you up on the stage talking?”  

Natelia squints up at Sid and says, “Well Mr. Enoo, I prefer to be behind the scenes.”  

She then gives him a wink as the audience roars to welcome a famous underground DJ Dredona onto the stage.  Dredona grabs the mic and has her voice project to the tens of thousands, “Thank you everyone.  Down with the monopolies!” Everyone cheers as she continues, “I am incredibly grateful to the reception of Binary Lucy Disk, my childhood invention, as an alternative form of currency and tonight, I will show you all the potential of this currency when utilized with electrical currents.”

She raises up her hands in fists grasping two Binary Lucy Disks and laser lights from her clenched palms start dancing across the audience as a heavy kick drum following a four-on-four pattern begins thumping to the audience’s glee.  

Sid nods his head to the beat and then turns to Natelia and says, “how did you get Dredona to appear?  She’s huge.” 

Natelia looks at Sid and shrugs, “She reached out to me via email.  She stated that the addictive potential of the nanobots with opium in a drink was a sick product used to keep the masses following Dictadur Triunfeo and Partitioner M’s bidding and she also said that Addiction to Action was the only activism in place to check this power grab of a monopoly of our state and market.  She saw it as doing the right thing in helping me make the rally as big as possible.”

Sid nods and replies, “well it’s really something, this is huge Natelia.”  

The sun was about setting when Dredona finished her set an hour later and Sid and Natelia had ended up behind the stage to greet Dredona while people helped take down.  Sid’s thoughts kept ruminating over how impossible Natelia’s endeavor was and how much he admired her for it.  He couldn’t stop feeling that his admiration of her fell short of the seriousness of Markaedium needing to exit the monopoly and he kept berating himself for having feelings for Natelia that he thought were preventing him from seeing the entire scope of the situation.  He was catching a feeling for Natelia, and he couldn’t help feeling like a fool for doing so.  Sid’s thoughts continued to echo his insecurity and fear of his emotions for Natelia.  Wouldn’t she just see right through him and feel like he was holding the revolution back with his feelings?  Or maybe she just thought of him as a patient.  After all, Addiction to Action was meant to empower individuals, wasn’t he just one of the individuals she needed to empower?  He thought about his addiction and how he didn’t even want to admit to Natelia that he had been sneaking one of the Opiumlite drinks with nanobots that very morning so he would be able to get to the protest.  He was supposed to be boycotting the product, but his addiction was immense, and he had been on the street versions of substances before the opiumlite drinks had been released and he transferred over his addiction to the drinks a few months ago.  He resolved in his mind to quit the drinks and that the one he had consumed before the protest would be his last.  

Natelia was in fact a little intuitive about Sid.  She could tell he was infatuated with her and did sense something amidst in him.  Maybe he goes to the 54/39 groups to work on his addiction she thought.  Addiction to Action believed that the 54/39 groups were part of the issue and prefer to empower individuals to action against the circumstances that keep them addicted, rather than work 54 principles and 31 forms of combatting addiction and living a more fulfilling life.  She decided she wouldn’t hold it against Sid, he seemed like something was troubling him and she didn’t like the feeling of power she got around him.  To her, her work wasn’t incredible, it was necessary.  This wasn’t to blow people’s minds and stroke her ego.  It was to make a change in the world that is completely controlled by two people, one in power politically working with one in power technologically.  The audacity of these two individuals had now led to a drink that drugs the masses so they would accept their monopoly of the great island of Markaedium.  She then thought of how Markaedium was a single metropolis on a grand island over a planet called Terloub in the Terloubian stellar system, and the only life known to exist on a planet.  As her mind thought of the vastness of space, for a second she felt a pang of intuition tell her the universe must be much bigger than she is thinking.  How could she know they were the only life out there?  She also got the feeling that Triunfeo and Partitioner M’s power was greater than she could ever challenge, but as Dredona finished up with a “THANK YOU MARKAEDIUM” and stepped off the stage towards her, she came back to the present situation and waited to greet her.  

“Dredona, this is amazing to finally meet you.  Thank you so much for your help and support!” Natelia says excitedly, almost more nervous than Sid.  “Um, this is my friend Sid, he is someone that’s been interested in Addiction to Action since I started it at Markaedium University in the library room after the scandal spread about Triunfeo’s first political move of buying Exoh Chat after allegations of him consistently using the Exoh chat for affairs had circulated.”

Dredona recalled the last ten years and remembered the time she was referring to.  Triunfeo used his political position to first remove the rules of Exoh chat allowing the female users to voice grievances if abuses were encountered and created a pay system so that people with enough income could buy their privacy on the platform.  He stated this was a political priority because of the amount of defamation that was happening to those that support the economy of Markaedium.  Meanwhile, the Synthetic Isle (an island on the planet made of recycled garbage) was experiencing workers who were dying from a combination of working the labor fields (where all the consumable products of Markaedium are produced) for too long of hours, and contact with radiation from the garbage that was sent to make the island and its buildings causing mental health deterioration and insomnia. 

Triunfeo when first running, had vowed to fix the Synthetic Isles and make them radiation free as well as to provide luxury living standards and work hours for the individuals living on the isle.  Flash forward ten years and Triunfeo went an entirely new direction after being elected and now the votes happen every 50 years instead of 5 years and Partitioner M’s NanoI enterprise was promoted to run all aspects of life in Terloub with their nanotellingence constantly prying into the daily lives of everyone to spread messages approved by Triunfeo and M as well as “boost productivity from Terloubians.”  

“Yes, I felt obligated to help, don’t thank me” Dredona replied, “And hello Sid.  Nice to meet you”.

Sid smiled and pulled out a binary lucy disk, “I love these, thank you Dredona, you know I am a musician myself, but wouldn’t have 1/100^th of your ingenuity.  You truly are a wiz with electricity.”

Dredona rolls her eyes, “Wiz… nice… well anyway Natelia, please call me if you need anything.  And Sid, don’t doubt your inner wiz, I was only a child when I invented the Binary Lucy Disk by mistake, and it almost resulted in burning my entire house down because I was playing and the coin came about as an accident.”

Sid laughed nervously, “I would love to hear about it sometime, I realize your busy.”  

Dredona grabs her BLD and touches it to Sid letting out a small blip, “there’s my contact, I will be glad to tell you about it, contact me if you wish.”

Sid eyes widened.  He couldn’t believe he had Dredona’s contact.  “Oh wow… Thank you!” he mustered.

  “See”, Natelia starts as Dredona exits and walks to her BLD vehicle, “She is just a Terloubian at the end of the day, just like you and me, are you happy?”

Sid shakes his head yes and thanks Natelia giving her a hug “that’s an understatement.”  

“Listen” Sid begins, “I haven’t been fully compliant with the boycott yet, but I intend too, moving forward.  I have been very addicted to these drinks actually and was too embarrassed to tell you.”

Natelia pushes Sid a little, “You’re only hurting yourself by taking their poison, I figured something was up with you.  Do you do 54/39 groups?”

Sid replies “How did you know?  Yes, I have a mentor as well.  He’s a lot more successful than me.”

Natelia puts her hand on Sid’s shoulder and says “Listen, talk to him tonight.  I am not fully in agreement with 54/39, but I feel it could help you a little.  I appreciate your honesty.  I have known you ten years now Sid, we met right at the beginning of this absurd political atmosphere that now dictates every level of the market and everyday living.  You have always been, well, caring.  It surprises me you waited this long to be honest with me about yourself.  Can I ask you, what spurred it?”

Sid thinks carefully for a second and then says, “I wanted you to think Addiction to Action was working, that I had been fixed using your program.  The reality is, I have been struggling for a while, and I guess I realize how big this is now and don’t doubt you or see myself as really meaning that much in the grand scheme of things.”

Natelia nods and says, “I feel the same way sometimes Sid, I was eating too much chocolate for many years and felt like a phony talking about this empowerment by challenging Triunfeo and M.  I am starting to think that their power is greater than we can imagine but that the work we did has set in motion what ultimately will need to be done for the freedom of Markaedium.  I hope you don’t feel alone.  I thank you for all your support.  Until we meet again, let’s go to lunch in a few days, I know an independent spot.”  

Independent spot meant a place that was sustaining itself outside of Triunfeo and M’s monopoly and Sid couldn’t help but ask, “Where?”

Natelia laughs and say, “Dredona’s been doing a lot of work in maintaining independence from the monopolies.  There’s an underground location near where the Grand River meets Center Park.  I’m meeting her there.  Come join us since she gave you her contact information.  In three days at midday.  Ill message you how to enter right now.”  

She pulls out her Disk and taps it sending Sid a message with a code to input into a locked building at Center Park that leads to the underground independent spot. 

“Thank you so much Natelia, and I will talk to my mentor Blake Jett when I get home.” Sid says upon receiving the message.  

Sid hugs Natelia one last time and departs, pulling out his Exoh fiber to pay for the fare on the tram.  Once on the tram he is handed some Exoh fibers back as change and he looks at them.  On the front there is Triunfeo and M’s faces with the seals stating, “For everyone’s pursuit of happiness”, on the back was a picture of Giestian and the saying “Out of Giestian’s sacrifice we derive power.” The amount in the corner (1 Exoh), and the year 43,460 Giestian Units in the opposite corner.  

Sid thought about the martyr Giestian dying for peace 43,460 years ago in a time that was corrupt and violent and everyone was cannibals.  He wondered what Giestian would be thinking about the current situation as the first Terloubian to end cannibalism through farming.  An action that would ultimately lead him to get killed by those wanting to eat each other still.  Would he be happy with the production of the present day?  People’s suffering?  He couldn’t help feeling like this whole past was impossible, the life he lived today was so different from cannibalism.  How could he know what Giestian would think?  

As the crowd departed Natelia stayed behind until no one was around.  She then sat down for a second to meditate.  As she breaths in, she begins thinking about Sid and Dredona and the whole success of the event.  As she breathes out, she reminds herself to just clear her mind.  She breaths in again and a loud gunshot echo as she exhales out her final breath and falls to the ground.  Two masked men in NanoI suits pick up her body and take it away in a NanoI vehicle.  A Binary Lucy Disk has blood splatter on it and sits at the scene.  A group of NanoI agents clean up the blood but don’t spot the Binary Lucy Disk.  “That’s good, clear out!” Triunfeo’s voice echoes in their headsets and the agents leave in black Nanoi vehicles.  At the scene a small dandelion being appeared with its roots unearthed like jellyfish tentacles that wiggled and allowed it to float away up to the sun.  

Reviews

[JayG]

You’re making the most common mistake in writing. You’re playing storyteller, and transcribing your performance. That is a guaranteed rejection early on page 1.

Why? Because storytelling is a PERFORMANCE art, where how you tell the story—your performance—matters as much as what you say, because it’s in that performance, the gestures; facial expressions; body-language; and changes in cadence and intensity, that the emotional component lies. But not a trace of that reaches the reader.

In reality, what you've given the reader is your storyteller’s script. But to work it must be performed as-you-would-do-it. And how can the reader, who has no directions or rehearsal time, match your performance?

Obviously, they can’t, which is why we can’t write fiction with the skills of a medium that requires sound and vision in order to to observe the storyteller.

To better understand the problem, have your computer read it to you, or, hand it to a friend and ask them to read it, WITHOUT telling them about the story first. Be careful though, if you do that, sit where you can watch them, but they can’t see you, because no one wants friends to see them cry. 😁

Here’s the deal: In school we learn only nonfiction writing skills. And if you use them for fiction it WILL read like a report. So that’s out.

For hundreds of years, writers have been finding ways to hook the reader and avoid the traps. Skip the step of acquiring those skills and you’ll fall into those traps and quickly lose the reader. Universities do, after all, offer degree programs in Commercial Fiction Writing. Would anyone take them if the skills they teach aren’t necessary?

So, take advantage of all that research. Dig into those skills and make them yours. If nothing else, they make the act of writing a LOT more fun. So jump over to Amazon and try the excerpt from Debra Dixon’s, GMC: Goal Motivation & Conflict. You’ll be surprised at how often she makes you say, “But damn...that’s so obvious. How did I never notice that?”

And for what I may be worth, my articles and YouTube videos are meant as an overview od the traps and gotchas that catch us all.

Jay Greenstein
Articles: https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/
Videos: https://www.youtube.com/@jaygreenstein3334

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“Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”
~ E. L. Doctorow

“Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.”
~ Alfred Hitchcock

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
~ Mark Twain