I just want to..

I always made fun of people who talked about suicide
Thinking that was nothing short of cowardice
And then suddenly I find myself in that position
Wanting death to come knocking on my door
I wonder if I'm being lied to by the one I love
Maybe she's keeping secrets from me
Sometimes I feel like nothing but a dirty secret
Like the rest of the world can't know about me
It just makes me think thoughts I know I shouldn't
Sometimes now I just want to kill myself
Whether it be feeling a noose tighten around my throat
Maybe I'll let water fill my lungs to the brim
Maybe standing in front of a car will do the job
Or maybe if I use medication others have to take
Sometimes I just want to kill myself
But I feel like I have to control and restrain myself
Like scratching and clawing to get what I want
Like I have to earn, re-earn and re-earn it again and again
Sometimes I don't see anything other than death
As I'm lost in the darkness and see no light ahead

Author's Note

good/bad?

Reviews

[Fallacy Pharmacy]

Beautifully expressed feelings, more people should read your stuff... Oh, and you just pretty much summed up what I sometimes feel. Great work.