Regrets

what was i thinking?

Hands down, hiding in pockets
They're shaking from the news
It seems every time he won
Someone else had to lose
It's unfair to live by judgment
Like a moth flying to a flame
He lives in a world that's changing
Remaining exactly the same
If he were to remain perfect
Just how cautiously should he tread?
His mind struggles to find the words
To keep his steps ahead
He told tell her he loved her
But still feel nothing inside
And although her smile shined bright
Inside he would still hide
From the world and himself
From all there is to see
She knew because she was just like him
But in life there's no guarantee
He wouldn't let anyone pull him down
Always toughened up that quivering lip
He put down the knife, the words
There were better things to rip
Then hearts and souls and lives
And all that he blamed the world for
It's his life and he only got one
So he decided to start living it a little more.
This wasn't the letter she wrote
Those weren't the words he heard
It was the feeling that he got
When he understood the word
Death.
Blood dries, smiles falter
You learn to struggle without someone to lean on
Cautiously he coped with that fact
That she will now and forever be gone.
Selfish and ruthless, but all to human
He decides to see her the same as before
They put the casket lid down
As he walked out of the church door.

Author's Note

i walked out and wish i had never dealt with it