Survive

Where you are 

I see,

the truth

inside

We'll

 take this 

second time

just to survive

Where 

I'll be

 you'll see

Leaving behind these lines

Shaded 

all your cares

very deep

so no one can find

A 

cause of life

shadows of hate

faded all our memories

I'll run

Before the end

fighting 

to survive

 

Author's Note

This is more hard new age :)

Reviews

[☾Panda☽]

We trying to survive with our pain. You write beautiful poems and they are strong. I read them as a song in my head, I really like it

Sincerely Panda

[Carl Drake Barnard]

You're too kind panda :)

[Carl Drake Barnard]

You're too kind panda :)

[☾Panda☽]

Awhh thank you -blush-

[JenniferMarie]

I really liked the last stanza. I could relate that moment. 'Running before the end, fighting to survive' Well done.

Thank you.

[CoraZanini]

Wow,different way of writing,very cool !

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thanks a lot! :)

[Shirley Wontas]

What an interesting poem. Thought provoking write. :)

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you :)

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Very compelling and interesting.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you :)

[TL Boehm]

I see the truth inside. If we all could do that...
I liked the staccato lines in this. Simply stated, yet deep
Well done

[Dark Rider]

I'm not good with reviewing poems, but I liked this one. :) It was really good.

[KaylaScarlett]

It almost sounds like the lyrics of a song. Flow is nice, and good choice of words.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thak you very much :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I think we are all fighting to survive in one way or another. We can look at the lives of others, perhaps ones that we think have more than ourselves, but they too have their own internal struggles and "fights" going on behind the scenes. This reminded me of the days of "punk" for some reason...quiet punk, but none the less. I like the flow and the concept. I think this could be expanded upon...perhaps not in this piece, but in other pieces. Well done.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thank you :) Wil keep that in mind :)

[Alexx Wake]

Wow, I'm in love with this bro!
Really impressed by the stanza set up, it was really simple to read, but at the same time carried a lot of depth and meaning. I really enjoyed this & look forward to reading more of your work.

[Carl Drake Barnard]

Thanks man:) really enjoyed it!! Looking forward to writing :)