A Crawling, By Ants Under [ dedicated to RMS ]

A Crawling, By Ants Under

Rendered; And The Scars Of It.

With All Restrictions And Renunciations
Of Years Gone Before Ourselves, It Is
Possible To Speak Of A World Sublime,
While Verging Upon The Most Feverish,
Gasping, Quaquaversal Madness

(That Of An Abandoning, Erebusian
Consciousness, A Mysterious,
Mythical Recognizable)--Continuity Of
Erethismic Upheaval In Psyche--Uttering,

Falling Tangled, Into Pellmellodious,
Melliferous, Synaptic Symmetries,
Alternating In Dissonance Of Such
Introduced Push--Eyes Effusively Absorbing;

They Are Smoldering And Uninhibited,
In A Blazing, Rhythmic Rocking, Engendered
Androgynous, And Oscillatorily There, At
The Eclipse, Out Scene, All Moist, In

Umbilical Blood Singed Recesses,
Panting From Such Interior Painting Of

Another New Theory
Of Intimate Relativity.

© Carol Maric
All Rights Reserved
© 2007 Carol Maric - Being: The Obsession, Continued . . . A Raging Epidemic !

Reviews

[No One]

This is a wonderfully written poem. The style is unique and the structure is sound. I don't expect the un-trained reader would get as much out of this poem as you put into it. It's sad that often we have to compromise content to suit most readers out in the real world. My writing is aimed more to the reader's market. (I can blame university for that), but each writer must find their own voice and I feel you have done a remarkable job. With that said, still, to me this is an important and grandly written piece of work. I have read it 4 times and find myself wanting to read it again.

[Gandré]

Dear Carol, I find it very good that you sent me this poem to make me read it. Please do it always this way.The message of your sociogically philosophical art work is obvious to me. As always, you lead the reader to your space by using very strong expressions. They fit extraordinery well and open new sources which lead me to new isights! You are expressing here actually ways to make the reader thinking and => hopefully getting a new insight => acting. Many nowadays just are remaining in this honey-like population of their own pleasure, actually falling apart without any frame and lack on their ethic values. Your "1 A cream" - philosophical work is so important for us: For it is ultra strong and alerting. I love your abstraction!

[Lori Nicole Peck]

I think both the word choice and the overuse of capitalization detract from your work. It's literally a chore to read it. After going through it a couple times, I've decided that I like the content, but for all intents and purposes, if someone has to read through your poem more than once for it to sound even semi-coherent... most people won't touch it. Especially since I know that most people don't have the command for vocabulary that I do, and I still had to look up some words. So how many people are going to be able to actually read it without making a job out of it? Now, if you're going for the elitist approach to poetry, go ahead... but be warned that the poet is nothing without her readers. I strongly recommend revising.

[Otto L.n. Pipgras]

I read this and I get the impression of life - from conception to birth...the pros and cons of bringing life into this world... I read it again and get a similiar, yet broader impression. I don't know if I'm even in the ballpark parking lot on this one, but I like this for it's ability to draw the readers eyes back to the top and read again, and again.

[Tai Chi Italy]

I think as the previous reviews have shown that this poem is too complicated in terminology for the general poetic publics tastes. It may appeal to the higher minded elitist type of reader/poet, but to get to the mainstream of readership, I would suggest simplifying it's depth of meaning, but I am a simple poet of the people and do appreciate that some would be reeling with enthusiasm and admiration for this sort of work. Will look again at your work, smiling at you, Tai

[Krystal Waters]

I am not a poet per say, and only just started writing poetry so as I read your poem I am utterly, without a doubt, confused with all your words and the meanings, your meaning. I get the last part of the poem but the first and middle really made me guess and read over and over. Perhaps I am just a simple reader, writer so I don't know how to rate this poem. I think you are far better than I could ever be so for me to rate you well...

---Krystal---

[Bill Throneburg]

My ability to grasp your concepts is inferior to your ability to prose. I like it...I just don't quite know what it is. Sorry

[Kari Delzer]

When I started to read this, after attempting (and failing miserably) to read one of your other longer poems, I thought, hey, I might actually be able to wrap my brain around this one. But then I got lost, then found again, and then lost...but I love love love the last two lines. I admire your use of obscure vocabulary, but I think it's way above the heads of average readers. Then again, if you're writing for yourself, you're obviously not writing for the average reader.

[Amy Robbins]

I'm one of those who had to read with a dictionary... but once the more obscure wording was understood, a powerfully intense image unfolded within my mind. Bravo :)
I like the contrast here:
"Possible To Speak Of A World Sublime,
While Verging Upon The Most Feverish,
Gasping, Quaquaversal Madness," which then moves into a legendary, larger-than life atmosphere reminiscent of the sacred and hidden power in mythology: "(That Of An Abandoning, Erebusian
Consciousness, A Mysterious,
Mythical Recognizable)"

[Brian Poem]

I'm sorry but I just can't seem to come to grips with your writings. I have no idea what they are speaking of. I probably would have to sit down with a dictionary to understand it. I tend to use common everyday language in my pieces and that's what I am used to. Please don't be offended...I just don't get it.