A Crawling, By Ants Under [ dedicated to RMS ]

A Crawling, By Ants Under

Rendered; And The Scars Of It.

With All Restrictions And Renunciations
Of Years Gone Before Ourselves, It Is
Possible To Speak Of A World Sublime,
While Verging Upon The Most Feverish,
Gasping, Quaquaversal Madness

(That Of An Abandoning, Erebusian
Consciousness, A Mysterious,
Mythical Recognizable)--Continuity Of
Erethismic Upheaval In Psyche--Uttering,

Falling Tangled, Into Pellmellodious,
Melliferous, Synaptic Symmetries,
Alternating In Dissonance Of Such
Introduced Push--Eyes Effusively Absorbing;

They Are Smoldering And Uninhibited,
In A Blazing, Rhythmic Rocking, Engendered
Androgynous, And Oscillatorily There, At
The Eclipse, Out Scene, All Moist, In

Umbilical Blood Singed Recesses,
Panting From Such Interior Painting Of

Another New Theory
Of Intimate Relativity.

© Carol Maric
All Rights Reserved
© 2007 Carol Maric - Being: The Obsession, Continued . . . A Raging Epidemic !

Reviews

[Ilene M.W. Lush]

I reached for my OED and a bottle of absinthe and set to work reading this. at first I thought with some of those words you were accusing me of sleeping with dead people.

[Melissa M. Goss]

i get where your comming from. i have written poems in a similar style. but it seems somehow lacking. just a little unpolished i'm sure.

[Chaos X 3]

I'm usually very good with words. But I am totally lost. I agree with William when he says there are many rambling abuses.

[Cassandra Lynn Peterson]

I read this three times... but I still don't get it. Talking down to your readers is not the best way to keep them engaged. I have a feeling that there is a very good reason behind this poem, but you should try and find a more concise way to address it. I think your ideas could be great, but your execution isn't quite up to par. Keep writing. I'll keep reading.

[Kurt]

this could be great... if you spoke from the soul on this i would probably give it better.... i don't think a fan of poetry enjoys trying to figure out what every other word means... i do understand where you were trying to go with it, but it should have more soul... still a good with the potential for greatness : )

[Back To William]

I fully support 'ten-dollar words' I constantly have to restrain myself out of consideration for what they add or - more often - take away. There are many different types of prolix abuses. the worst is when whatever meaning you intended, or whatever structure you established to have meaning impossed upon it - hides behind (intentionally or inintentionally) circumlocution.

let your fascination, and apperent aptitude, with the english language escape from the bondage you create of overuse. it's simply bad writing; how can it be anything else if it does not communicate?