Who you gonna tell?

This is a gansta rap I wrote a while ago. I don't write many raps but my girls are into them. Thought I'd share :)

Too many people

play the game 
but their broken inside 
it's such a shame 

Tears flow from hearts 
that are torn apart 
Shattered remains 
of a violent past 

Guys stay your hand 
don't make your plans 
to destroy the girls 
whose hearts you hold
come on be bold 
stand up for the good 
don't destroy your hood 
with blood and lust 
or your gonna get bust 
and fall in disgust 

Wake up 
get real 
Don't kill or steal 
don't break the ones 
whose trust you had
or you dirty little cowards 
gonna get it bad 

One day your blood’s
gonna run 
and your gansta days
are gonna be done 

Then where's your soul 
gonna go 
when your flesh’s a rottin 
and your names forgotten 

Who you gonna tell 
if you end up in hell
Nobody’s gonna hear
as you tremble in fear

and you cry to God
for mercy and grace
cause it'll be too late 

So get your life
right at the start 
Don't mess it up 
don't tear it apart 
or your eternal life's 
gonna be in the dark 

Walk in the light 
while your here
then your final breath

will be nothing to fear 

 

      

 

Reviews

[quinfinn]

so many young people who have that "gangsta" mentality have given up all but survival and instinct because it is all they have come to know and understand...i feel they can be saved in the end because they know no different. as for the posers and wannabes, different story...they know better, so....i say f**k 'em!

[Carolann Dowsett]

True :) and yes there are a lot of lost youth out there who need help I have a lot of them in my life and do my best to guide them in the right direction. Thank you for your review :)

[quinfinn]

welcome

[Mir]

This was nice:)
Personally I thought the last stanza was the best. :) But the whole poem was great overall!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much :)

[Overrated-World]

such a good rap aye.
best out. good flow and wording.
peace out bruvvaahh

[Carolann Dowsett]

Haha thank you :)

[Margarette]

Cool, this is the first time I've read a rap song. Are you gonna sing it? :)
I really like the flow of the stanzas as it winds up into a single foretelling of lessons that are elegantly expressed throughout. The message has been so clear and transparent and such, I found it strong and vivid, more like a speech to all those affected people out there to change their lives. It can also be a propaganda against violence as stated in the first few verses of the piece. Thanks for sharing!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you so much Margarette, not sure if I'll sing it or not :) I'm glad you liked.

[Salar Majak]

nice!!!!!!!!! i read it in as a rap and i enjoyed it sooo much :D great story in it, the gangsta life style, the stealing they think it's cool but everyone grows up one day :)

[Carolann Dowsett]

They sure do Sal. Thanks so much :)

[Salar Majak]

:) you are welcome

[Written Volumes]

It's a sad and pivotal state of affair, that this happens ever-so often in our lives. As always, straight from the heart. Nicely written. :)

Benjamin

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you

[Richard Man]

Carolann come into the light I'll see you there. Strong poem.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you Richard.

[CreativeStroke]

Very truthful message within this piece. So many youth in this world today have a bad outlook on life and need to focus on the positive, straightening out their lives. Well done!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :)

[Christopher Booyakasha]

Hahaha. I like this one. It had a kinda quick pace pace to it to me. the more I read it the faster it kinda flowed. Nice job!

[Carolann Dowsett]

Cool thank you. Glad you liked :)

[Kenneth The Poet]

A beautiful piece. A straightforward ode from the heart.

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you :)

[critic h]

well said

the rap carries a message, a message that the wind should deliver to every eye.

but i think it would have been better if it would have been audio.
yet for the lyrics they are well worded and they penetrate deep.
there are many youths to to again mislead from their path of vengeance and ill will.

the rap clearly clings to its purpose..

[Carolann Dowsett]

Thank you I might try to get it to a beat and post it that way.