Dear lover

People can fall together for the wrong reasons.

                                 Dear lover

I have learned too late. The words not spoken and the letters never written. Are written too late and become meaningless words.

I knew you when we were fleeing from ourselves and we were damned to the booze and the drugs. Everything we held precious had turn to s**t and instead of curling up and dying.

We found salvation in each other arms. We were seeking and finding things that were leading us into a inferno of no return. Where saints and sinners find similar corridors of the shade of love promises that cannot be kept.

We laid in beds of hidden rooms in the dark motels seizing the last grasp at desperate needs. We learned too late. The flesh demand payment. When two people are twisted up their last hope, bodies pressed together trying to find redemption where there is none. We didn't know. Can't find a savior when you cannot be together in the light.

Early Fall came and I went into deep hiding. I left you without words and hanging upon  an thin tight rope. The last time I saw you was in late Fall. You ran to me and embraced me. You told me. I miss and love you Johnnie. I said no words and released you. Your sad eyes wanted more and you saw I wasn't willing to pronounce all I held dear to my heart away for the journey into a unknown place.

In late Winter of the next year somewhere out west. You took your life. You escaped your prison of drugs and rejection. You had left Michigan and you went to Vegas. Found colder and more heartless den of strangers.

Could I had saved you? I don't know. Some of us are born dead and can warm-up with old age and lessons learned.

I tell the kids. We will play saint and sinner often. Every kiss and touch become another layer added to us. We will pay for every deed and sin. Be careful where the shade of love can fall. Hidden and secret love that can't see the light of day. We must keep at-bay.
                                  Coyote?John Castellenas

Author's Note

New poetry. I hope you like.

Reviews

[RomaJ]

Very impressive and insightful piece, Coyote. "Could I have save you? I do not know" We'll never know why people do the things they do or the kind of pain they carry, to make the the choices they make. Reminds me of a friend, with alcohol addiction..she hid it well or maybe it was denial? It took me years to realize that I was just somehow enabling her, by letting her drink here so her family won't know...and all along I thought she was just visiting a lot because she liked me...she was just getting worse. Very scary time. Ending our friendship and all contact at that time, was the only way to save her and me, from losing my mind. She is better now and 4 years sober. We only talk through fb. Even now, I keep my distance. I just can't go through that again.

[Coyote Poetry]

Hard to learn. Sometime separation is needed to heal. This was a sad part of my life. I learn we pay for every action good or bad. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Honey-Bee]

Hard Lessons learned! I feel it the whole thing. The struggles with the flesh and the final choice to be in the light. Gosh what a struggle. To familiar! Good write that brings us to the light.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right. Hard lesson learn and wisdom learn. Thank you Honey-Bee for reading and understanding.

[Honey-Bee]

Your Welcome!

[Lyn Anderson]

Beautiful, elegant, and sad, romantic, everything that makes your words shine. Note -- learned, damned, and turned in the first two paragraphs.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for the edit and the good comment. I do appreciate the help.

[Lyn Anderson]

I know you do. And your writing never disappoints.

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Very nice, it gives an insight into the experiences and thoughts of the poet and as always I can see it is heartfelt, very cool.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for reading and the comment. Old thoughts appeared and I create the poetry.

[...]

Could I had saved you? I don't know. Some of us are born dead...Wow! And I dig the letter style a lot :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Lynn. I appreciate the comment.

[FateDictates]

got me thinking, had me captured..I applaud..curtsy bow

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[ANTO]

I do like it - I like the letter style format Coyote
love that cannot be shown in the open is doomed from the off. You document the folly of those who continue on the path - sleazy motels and cold carnal desires and addictions give such a bleak prognosis of a life.
This is moving and gritty and real - well done Coyote

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Anto. Living is learning. Learning is living.

[MandaBear]

Wow great work I really liked "Where saints and sinners find similar corridors of the shade of love promises that cannot be kept." that is just awesome!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Mandabear for reading. I do appreciate the comment.