Attempt at short poetry.

Just words

I like to try new options. This is one. Less epic tales and create meaning using minimum words.




Rage and pain.
Illusion and deceit.
Love born than died.
----

Slender shoulders kissed.
The nakedly dance,
the midnight hour splendor
------

Captured,
unrestrained,
taunts and torment.
Imperfection enshrined.

                             John Castellenas/Coyote

Author's Note

Thank you for reading and I hope you liked.

Reviews

[PANDORA]

I like the short simplicity of this, however, the middle stanza does not fit into the theme (only in my humble opinion.) I read it a few times before I decided to comment and tried to feel the emotion of the piece. The middle stanza seems so lovely and maybe that was its purpose to balance out the "rage" and "torment."

Any way you meant it, I enjoyed reading it.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Pandora. I appreciate the comment.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yup, sometimes the shorter the better. Very well done. 100 points.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree. Hard to attract people to epic poetry. Thank you Danny for reading and the comment.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

You are welcome :)

[Cat]

I personally delight in the chronology you've captured. Truly beautiful when less is more.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Cat. I appreciate the comment.

[Willard Wells]

First stanza third line it looks like "then" rather than "than". But it's your word and your vision. Each stanza does stand on it's own with a msg.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Willard. I appreciate the comment.

[Sami Khalil]

Even in new formats and approaches, one thing stays constant which is excellence....:)....

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Sami. I appreciate the many comments.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome muchly. ....:).....

[Perkele.7885]

This is good. in each stanza you have an action and a finality born of that action. The mind has to expand to follow my logic but, it is there, none-the-less!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Perkele. Just testing the menu of poetry.

[Fran Marie]

A new approach to your writings..always good to try different variations in poetry..and you do it so well..very creative , John..and enjoyable..

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Fran. I appreciate the comment.

[Fran Marie]

You're welcome John, will read more of your work soon..I have been behind on reading and reviewing..

[Coyote Poetry]

Me too. We had inventory at work. I worked ten straight 12 hour days. I'm trying to catch-up.

[....................]

Love the short work, John...all three are very good but the second one stands out to me - a perfect moment shared...good work, my friend

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. I appreciate the comment.

[Valentine]

Very different for you and yes, I liked it very much. Valentine

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you. I wrote 40 short poem watching the Grand-boys play. Sometime those words can come out.