Bad love

Poem written in 1994 with a re-write

                        
    


                         Bad love

I felt the darkness of the night overtaking the lights of the day. Stealing away the gentleness that is left in me. The once sweet memories had turn to a cancer. Eating away at my heart and mind. Leaving a soul-less man till nothing matters anymore.

I poured the tequila into my coffee cup, cut the lemons into pieces and pray for the night to be kind to me. I drank the tequila and allowed the lemon to quiet the burn. I hope the tequila can quiet the memories of your beautiful face. I may even smiled and laughed, but I'm dead. You can't raise the dead.  In the real life. Death of heart and need is the real peace for a man who wanted everything and nothing.

Sometime women faces danced in my head. Can't remember their names but their lips and touch are permanent tattoos on my body. In sweet dreams I whispered names of faces lost in time and space. Just memories to make me know. I was alive once.

I would do the drugs, but I would see too much than. I don't want to see the beaten man. Standing alone and looking for forgiveness that can't be found.

The bars and the taverns have became my place of worship. The hundred bottles of alcohol drank by me allowed me to find slow suicide. Pretty woman told me. "You must lose the sadness." I told her. You are okay when you feel alone and safe. I like the peace of no emotions and forgetting who I'm. The cancer of disappointment left me to a dead-end. Ain't nothing left except to wait for the undertaker.

She whispered. "The world is a beautiful place. Life isn't slow death by drink and disappointment." I told her. The world can be a beautiful place, but beautiful things loses their glow. Become used and abused. I have know a million kisses deep and embraced angels and devils. I learn most of us need too much or too little. I looked her eyes and I kissed her forehead. I told her. Leave the graveyard Poet alone. I will teach you to be dirty with hate and disappointment. No clean people in the dark tavern Honey. In the dark taverns. Just us waiting for the Devil to set us free.

Please Honey, find the light of hope. No hope in the tequila and wasted words by a dead man walking.

                              John Castellenas/Coyote

Author's Note

A poem written in 1994 with a re-write.

Reviews

[jesserose99]

sometimes some of us have dual natures...where the darkness is walking our halls...but we can't help but still find grace and beauty. Your words to me spoke of a deeply broken heart. one that thinks it can never be repaired...and perhaps those that they wish to find the 'light of hope', see this heart, and want to help the ache but simply don't have the tools to.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree. Sometime we walk into the fire and we know, we shall get burn. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Solar]

The heart of darkness, sometimes wants it just to be left alone.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree. Thank you Solar for reading and the comment.

[Einstein Noodle]

i love Lindsey Stirling! :)
"Bad Love" ...no doubt about it ..turning to drunken stupor for relief just aint the path to recovery .... broken heart or no! :)
E.

[Coyote Poetry]

Me too. Lindsey is amazing. I been a fan for many years and thank you for reading and the comment.

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .....for sure my friend!

[Akshay Raju]

The first few lines... Soo beautiful!!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Akshay for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Dhaye]

There are reasons why a person finds joy in alcohol or other vices. But there will come a time, a person or a place that will help him change
evem without his knowledge.

Life lesson from lines. Touching ending...

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Dhaye. You are right. I was saved, saving children. I found purpose.

[Lydia Shutter]

The imagery you employ is like a magic carpet bringing me to the scene. I could picture the tequila in the coffee cup and almost taste the lemon....incredible. "In the dark taverns, just us waiting for the Devil to set us free.".....what a descriptive line and so true too. The characters in your writes are always kind....just as you are. Wonderful work. Lydi**

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Lydia. I did find my salvation in the Taverns. Good to find people seeking purpose and reason. People swimming in s**t are the best teachers.

[The Analog Kid]

Coyote, love this one. Really spoke to me. Dead inside.

Nice music to accompany.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you my friend. I appreciate the comment.

[Renée]

I was in Ireland once...loved the pubs full of life..and they make a great pot of tea. I have always wondered though..about the people that frequent a bar in my neighborhood. It opens in the morning, no food served only drinks, and as I drive by I usually see a couple of people smoking in plastic chairs out front..
This piece you wrote reminds me of those people, perhaps I know now why they are there..
Dark, lonesome feel to this write..

[Coyote Poetry]

I roamed the bar for 20 years. Most people who loved the bars. Are hiding something or need the safety of the same. Thank you Renee for reading and the comment.

[Renée]

I'm glad you found your way out , my pleasure to read ( :

[David Scott]

Been there done that. Good advice here. Your stories feel very real. Believable.

[Coyote Poetry]

I roamed the bars for 20 years. The bar Poet rarely told lies. Thank you David for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[dan]

John, This is the first prose/poems I've read by your hand and your writing is so fluid and open, making a writing in prose sound so poetic in its delivery. This piece is so rich in symbolism and imagery I could write 10-11 quotes from it and not feel as if I've done enough to memorialize the piece. So, my favorite: " I hope the tequila can quiet the memories of your beautiful face." From my drinking days I can testify that tequila, in my experience, can quiet the memories of MY OWN face. 8^) Just a wonderfully written piece, Bravo!! take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Dan. I appreciate the kind words.