The dead ends

Just words, a re-write

Dead ends

A Poem by Coyote Poetry

Time for all of us to think and do the right things. Before it is too late for us and nature.

                 Dead ends

Brothers told no-one they were scared.
They stood on a chair one year apart and told the world to f-off.
Baby sister cried and family learn to live without the laughter
of two strong boys.

Young girl told me she is useless.
Better off dead. She had done many bad things.
No forgiveness for woman who wasted everything she touched.
I told her. “Jesus can forgive, but you must forgive yourself and become wiser
in choices. Stop and think. Re-set your journey. Can’t change the past. But you
can decide the future”

Old man sat alone.
Thinking of dead memories.
Missing voices gone and not forgotten.
He wondered  could he had of changed people journeys?
Could he had have been kinder?

Tears fall from his eyes.

Wars are alive and well.
Old Soldier sat at grave stone of a good friend.
He drank his friend favorite Miller’s beer.
Told his friend. “Kids are strong and beautiful. You are a grandpa now twice.
The little boy looked like you. I miss you my friend. I wished I could hear your
laughter and I know what you would tell me. It will be alright Johnnie. I know you will
be there for my kids.” I leave four Miller’s beer on a lonely grave and pray my friend is watching his children from heaven.

Someone killed people in Vegas.
Just people going to celebrate dance and song.
I saw their faces of the family and friends after the shooting.
Exploding with tears and sadness.
Old world is going mad.
Why would anyone kill another in a place of joy or anywhere for no reason?
We need a billion prayers for love and kindness to be rebirth in our world.

“Too much death lord.
Please protect the children.
Please send wisdom and guidance to our leaders.
Lord of life and death.
Please help us. We are being led by Beserkers who want hate over love.
Want murder over conversation.
They desire blood of another because of religion.”

Today we stand on a dangerous edge.
Korea threatening war.
Nuclear weapons can send the world on the final journey. A nuclear Winter.
Weapons and Soldiers cannot bring peace.
Destroying beautiful cities don’t create friendships.

Words of hate lead us to no-where.

We are all flesh and bones.
We know pleasure and we know pain.
If you stand for nothing.
One day you will wished you scream out against war.
One day you will wished you told a love one you loved them.

One day we will be on a dead-end road.
Too late for tears and forgiveness.

I pray and  hope for logic and common sense. Need a miracle.
Common people everywhere must stop the Berserkers of war and violence.
Stand together for peace and kindness.

Send food and medicine. Not weapons and Soldiers.
Tell someone you miss and love them. You need them near.

Coyote
2017

Author's Note

Just words and concern.

Reviews

[k]

This is a beautifully written poem. I love how you use different scenes/stories to create your message. The emotion was very strong and I found myself able to image each scene as I read it.
That being said, you have quite a few grammatical issues that I'll turn your attention to. This might get kind of long, but I'll try to list them all out so you're aware that they're there, and I'll try to leave suggestions on how to fix them.
First, in a lot of the places where you refer to people directly you do so in a fragmented way. For example, "Young girl told me she is useless" and "Old man sat alone". One way to fix this is to add "A or "The" to the beginning of the sentence (ex. The old man sat alone). But, if you like the way it sounds now and you just want to replace their names with that description, capitalize both parts of the name (Young Girl, Old Man, Baby Sister). This makes it grammatically check out as now it's a replacement for the name.
In your second stanza, you write, "Young girl told me she is useless. Better off dead." Here you've created a fragment. If you simply replace the period with a comma you can correct this. ("Young girl told me she is useless, better off dead").
In your third stanza, you close with the lines, "He wondered could he had of changed people journeys? Could he had have been kinder?" The wording here is confusing. I recommend fixing it with, "He wondered, could he have changed people's journeys? Could he have been kinder?" I've just cut out the unnecessary words and added a comma for clarification.
In the next stanza you include the line, "He drank his friend favorite Miller’s beer." Here you're missing a comma and "friend" should be in the possessive form. "He drank his friend's favorite, Miller's beer." Also in the same stanza, you write, "The little boy looked like you." If the little boy is still alive and still looks like him, I suggest putting this into present tense ("The little boy looks like you").
In the sixth stanza, you seem to be reciting a prayer. If this is true, when you say "lord" it should be capitalized, especially if you are addressing a specific deity (such as the Christian God). Also in this line, since you are addressing "lord", there should be a comma separating his name and what you are telling him. ("Too much death, lord").
In the next stanza you write, "Destroying beautiful cities don’t create friendships." This is a simple subject-verb agreement error. It should be "Destroying beautiful cities DOESN'T create friendships".
In the next stanza, the lines "If you stand for nothing" and "one day you will wished you scream out against war" would flow together better if you ended them with a comma instead of with a period. ("If you stand for nothing, one day you will wished you scream out against war, one day you will wished you told a love one you loved them.") Also within those lines, they should open "one day you will wish".
That's mostly it for grammatical issues. The final suggestion I have for revision is that you replace "f-off" with "f**k off". It's much stronger. If you want to avoid cursing, you could say something to the effect of "they held their middle fingers up to the world".
These are all, of course, just gentle suggestions. There is no right or wrong way to write a poem. Good work, I hope this review is helpful!

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for reading and the detailed edit. I will return tonight and try to repair. I do appreciate.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A very sage collection of writings Coyote. Certainly pieces to stimulate emotions and thinking. All show a tender heart who has known trouble and pain.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you John. We know. Age teaches us many lessons.