I left a lady crying..

A rewrite

   I left a lady crying

Lady true lay down alone in a cold bed.
Words of love left her upside down and alone.
She ransomed her heart for a endearing love and
she wanted to devour love with all her heart and soul.

I left a lady crying,
I left a lady falling and dying.

I gave enough to inflame her heart and I took what he needed.
I left her weeping.

Lady blue, lady true dwell in sorrow.
She bared her heart and she knew.
Love is game of chance.
Better to nourish the want of love than
never know the sweet kiss and the kind embrace.

I asked her twice.
“Can you forgive me?
Lady true told him.
Men who steal and run.
He will learn,
he left a woman waiting,
he broke her heart and he didn’t care.
Karma is a fair judge my love.
You will miss me and I will forget you”

Men who dance in peril and live in the maze of lies and greed.
Will dream of their Lady true and never know real peace again.

Coyote/John Castellenas

Author's Note

Old world, written better?

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

yep ... what goes around comes around ... though your antagonist is callous in love in this instance ... pain will no doubt visit him ... if that doesn't soften and teach his heart .. i'm afraid he may never have love at all ... live in the Peter Pan syndrome forever :( if you take another look and read for syntax errors i think it will make this very emotive piece better ... readers stumble over "...She ransom.." (should be ransomed) or ".... enough to inflamed..." (should be inflame) ... easy editing fixes that will make a fine clear story more rhythmic to read ;) I always enjoy your characters and setting and scene Coyote Man ... this one for me has a particularly deep lesson in it .. love the closing!
E.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for the help and for reading. I do appreciate.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I’ll get in before you
Not just words ok !!
Love this

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Julie for reading and the comment.

[Weeping willow]

Wonderfully expressed as hearts intertwine in pain, yet love goes on to find another heart ;-} Karma has a way of repaying the brokenness caused by others.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right dear friend. But we do pay for the sin of hurting another. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Unspoken poet]

heart tugging write here, Karma will catch up though

[Coyote Poetry]

It does and it did. Thank you dear poet for reading and the comment.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and thus, the karma gets revenge. she forgets as he regrets...
Unhappy is his middle name. Now.

j.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree Jacob. Karma is three-fold. I do know and thank you for reading and the comment.