Too late for forgiveness...

Merry Christmas and please call the people you love. They may need a kind voice.

(Two brothers who committed suicide before their twenties birthdays. One in 1988 and one in 1989.}

“A sad one. If you feel death is more important then life. Please call me. Maybe I can help.

 Too late for forgiveness…

.

My second brother was put into the cold earth. Death by their own hands. Left many to swim in bad decisions and not enough kind words.

The things I believed in. Became useless and not fruitful anymore. Words said without thoughts or kindness. Left my soul in blackness. I wished too late to take back words that degrade a life of a brother.

I learn the important things we must believe are  simple and plain. I learn we must rise and fall. Cry and laugh. Beg and demand.

I chisel my brothers names into a old Oak tree. I asked the Spirit of life and death to forgive me for being a b*****d instead of a friend. Silence and loneliness left me be to the solitude of pen and paper.

I learn we are all mortals. Too blind to see beyond our own glory. Till names of the dead are carved in your chest, your mind.

Today I remember two strong and wild boys who showed no fear. The hidden demons no-one saw.
Took them to a rope and no goodbye.

Their death made me more gentle in action and in words. The dream of wealth became less needed.

Now I offer a open door to friends and family. I will listen to someone who is struggling and try to help.
I don’t believe you can be forgiven. Lonely graves of two scared boys are permanent scars on a mind and heart.

No-one cared or saw that they saw death more sweet then life.

I wished I’d listen to a wise grandfather. Nothing good to say. Say nothing. Negative words and actions can caused permanent damage. My door is always open for you.

Better to be a friend then be standing by a casket saying a final goodbye.

                               Coyote

Author's Note

Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Patricia]

This is heartbreaking and so very painful to so I can’t imagine the pain you suffered and are still suffering. We have to learn to live with our choices, what we say and didn’t say or do but I do believe it never too late for forgiveness and definitely not too late to forgive yourself. I think you are on the road to that by opening your heart and offering a hand. We don’t have much time on this earth and we have to be the best we can as if each day is our last. May you find peace and forgiveness and this I am sure you will find.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Pat. I keep their memory close. Ensure I am kind to the people near.

[Writergurl]

Such a sad write. I so sorry for you I can't imagine what you have been through.

[Coyote Poetry]

It happen a long time ago. Made me kinder. We don't know what someone is struggling with. Thank you for reading and the kind words.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

This tugged deep on my heart strings seeing your beautiful brothers gone too soon
Their faces etched carved in your heart never forgotten
Beautiful John
Yes we need to take Time to really listen to people one more hour on the end of a text or phone may help them
One kind word or how are you in their lonely day may save their life we especially now in these times need to be loving and understanding
Sorry for your loss they feel your heartache
Happy Xmas to you and family x

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you, dear Julie. I agree. A phone call, a hello and to listen. We must do.

[Fictional Fabricator]

I'm so sorry for your loss, coyote. I understand thru reading it's been a long while since but the hurt is as raw as ever. For those of us still here it tends to leave us very humbled and more aware. At least I hope to think so.

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree. We become humble. Thank you for reading and the comment.

[Ken Simm.]

Having lived with a suicide risk this is something I read with dread but I hope understanding. All I can say my dear brother is this is written with thoughtful sensitivity and feeling.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you Ken. Suicide is a quiet killer.

[M. J. Smith]

Loss... Remains sharp for eternity. Lost someone myself. Still missed decades later. She'd have said remember the beauty, not the darkness.

[Coyote Poetry]

We must try my friend and thank you for reading and the comment. I do appreciate.

[Unspoken poet]

I can really feel this write, A family of mine committed suicide and it hurt me deeply
I was right there the whole time, he could have talked to me. i felt it was my fault
because I probably could have done something to prevented it.

[Coyote Poetry]

We do feel the responsibility for things we can't control. All we can do. Is become better people. Listen more and show concern. It is hard my friend. In 1989, I quit my job, left a city.

[Lydia Shutter]

Oh my, John, were these two boys your brothers? How horrific to have two brothers in any family commit suicide. Yes, we have to have open doors and listen to what people have to say. Sometimes a kind word or a kind voice of reason can save a life! Such a powerful write here, John. If these were your brothers, my heart goes out to you. May their memories be a blessing. Lydi**

[Coyote Poetry]

They were my brothers. Wild boys who left too soon. Thank you dear Lydia.

[Cherrie]

So often the message is there only to be seen afterwards.
This is extremely sad. Suicide is a curse that infects the living.
My prayer is it never happens on our watch.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Cherrie. Life is lessons and more lessons. Some lessons can be difficult.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this kind of goodbye is the hardest....pondering why they could not find a reason not to.
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right Jacob. I appreciate the comment.