Too late for forgiveness...

Merry Christmas and please call the people you love. They may need a kind voice.

(Two brothers who committed suicide before their twenties birthdays. One in 1988 and one in 1989.}

“A sad one. If you feel death is more important then life. Please call me. Maybe I can help.

 Too late for forgiveness…

.

My second brother was put into the cold earth. Death by their own hands. Left many to swim in bad decisions and not enough kind words.

The things I believed in. Became useless and not fruitful anymore. Words said without thoughts or kindness. Left my soul in blackness. I wished too late to take back words that degrade a life of a brother.

I learn the important things we must believe are  simple and plain. I learn we must rise and fall. Cry and laugh. Beg and demand.

I chisel my brothers names into a old Oak tree. I asked the Spirit of life and death to forgive me for being a b*****d instead of a friend. Silence and loneliness left me be to the solitude of pen and paper.

I learn we are all mortals. Too blind to see beyond our own glory. Till names of the dead are carved in your chest, your mind.

Today I remember two strong and wild boys who showed no fear. The hidden demons no-one saw.
Took them to a rope and no goodbye.

Their death made me more gentle in action and in words. The dream of wealth became less needed.

Now I offer a open door to friends and family. I will listen to someone who is struggling and try to help.
I don’t believe you can be forgiven. Lonely graves of two scared boys are permanent scars on a mind and heart.

No-one cared or saw that they saw death more sweet then life.

I wished I’d listen to a wise grandfather. Nothing good to say. Say nothing. Negative words and actions can caused permanent damage. My door is always open for you.

Better to be a friend then be standing by a casket saying a final goodbye.

                               Coyote

Author's Note

Thank you for reading.

Reviews

[Patricia]

This is heartbreaking and so very painful to so I can’t imagine the pain you suffered and are still suffering. We have to learn to live with our choices, what we say and didn’t say or do but I do believe it never too late for forgiveness and definitely not too late to forgive yourself. I think you are on the road to that by opening your heart and offering a hand. We don’t have much time on this earth and we have to be the best we can as if each day is our last. May you find peace and forgiveness and this I am sure you will find.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Pat. I keep their memory close. Ensure I am kind to the people near.

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest John… youth make their choices… often influenced by other people and circumstances. Many of us feel we could have made a difference.. when in reality… Life is not Fair and that is why we should never Judge each other. Be Brave and share; however, do not be so unkind to yourself… you are an honest person and it is a blessing to share our feelings in Prayer. Wishing you Peace and Joy during the Season of Love. Your Brothers are in a Better Place.. and we will join them in the Bye and Bye. gently, Pat

[Coyote Poetry]

Hello dear Pat. I am old now and I learn to be kinder. We will learn hard lessons. I did. Now I see the faces of my brothers in my grandchildren faces. Thank you for reading and the kind words my friend.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear John… it is Sunday morning almost eight am in Fredericksburg, Virginia… there is 73 percent chance of Snow… wishing you and your grandchildren a Merry Christmas. 🎄 😇 gently, Pat

[Chris Shaw]

A heartbreak of a write. I can not imagine the pain of losing two young brothers to suicide and the guilt of thinking, you could have done better. Your grandfather's words are so wise. Better to say nothing if you can't bring yourself to say something nice. We have no idea what goes on in the minds of other people. Some are so good at hiding their feelings. Without doubt, their deaths have been life changing for you. It wasn't just you who missed their inner turmoil though. Others missed it too. Be kind to yourself, you need it dear poet.

Chris

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Chris. Life is lesson and more lesson. I learn to lead with concern, kindness and love.

[John the Baptist]

Not knowing the specifics of this tragedy, I cannot comment accurately about it, but I do know the survivors sometimes blame themselves for suicides. Siblings often make uncomplimentary remarks to each other, but that does not mean this drove a brother or sister to self destruction. That the events caused you to be more thoughtful and considerate is good, but I have a feeling your are being too hard on yourself.

[Coyote Poetry]

Hello John. Some lessons are hard and we become better. Thank you for reading and the comment my friends.

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

"Two brothers who committed suicide before their twenties birthdays. One in 1988 and one in 1989.}
“A sad one. If you feel death is more important then life. Please call me. Maybe I can help."
Too late for forgiveness…"
Never too late, never too late to act..to reach out to someone who needs help, as you do in this poem. Your heartfelt story and the poignant photos of your two beloved brothers who tragically passed from suicide, speak to the sadness and grief you live with every day. God has shown mercy forgiven you everything and so have your brothers. Now it is your sacred job to try to forgive yourself. You are a good man who is a Master Class writer...who also deserves happiness. If you need a friend to listen, please message me my friend - anytime. Holidays make some memories worse and some better. Worse can turn into better if we forgive ourselves. I know this. I will keep you in my prayers and I wish you a Merciful, Blessed, Peaceful, Healthy, Hopeful, Joyous Holiday. I am here for you. Thank you for always sharing your heart and soul so bravely.

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you dear Annette. Was a long time ago and I changed my life then. Now I have five grandchildren. I see my brothers in my grandson's faces. Thank you for the kind words. I do appreciate. I learn too late. Need listeners, not lecturers.