Lightning Strikes the Coolest Clear

When lightning strikes the coolest clear
you can see me standing
in my own skin,
not playing with the sky
to get a different song or dance.  
Still, Darkness places his fingers inside me,
encourages me to write,
to respond as if my name is without
life's second chance.

I think of asking why
my eyes relentlessly search
for lost time
through a window
I should have forgotten
before my eyes
even took it in.  
Instead, I leave the view
to face itself
swim into the ocean
I call Serenity,
softly sing my song of peace
once again.

Reviews

[MOON]

This is breathaking , emotional write Neva , writing is perhaps the second chance but sometimes we play the same song expecting a different outcome . The imagery so beautiful, leaving the view to face itself and trying to find peace amidst the turmoil. Outstanding as usaul.

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Moon XX

[Kes]

This is beautiful. The flow is great and the imagery is amazing. And that well-known touch of melancholy never goes amiss.
Wonderful work.
K

[Leigh]

The dark night is a blank canvas on which the mind wanders and paints a picture of its own. I think of a lot of my stuff just before I go to sleep and often jot things down on a scrap of paper at my bedside. Having been struck by lightning (not a direct hit) I can still remember the road lighting up all around under the cars and the electricity in the air and also in my teeth :-). This reminds me a bit of Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac.

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Leigh :)

[Veronica Chandler]

"Softly sing my song of peace once again." Oh how I have missed the way your words wash over me in waves gently lapping. Just beautifully inspired.

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Veronica :)

[...]

Stunning!!! The picture and the poet :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Why inspiration strikes it can feel as if the pen is moving your hand. Outstanding work.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Ah the fierce way in which you detail teh effects of darkness on the human physce is fabulous, well done, good read.

[S. Michael Long]

I really love this.. especially how you describe darkness placing his fingers inside you and encourages you to write.. that dark shadowy feeling that flicks at a writers heart (: i love this! -s

[Clockwork]

I like the mentions of the lightning and the idea of standing and leaving it to face itself. I think those are particularly strong ideas. I would suggest that you move the lines "Instead, I leave the view/ to face itself" to the last two lines. Build the poem to that note like a lighting strike and a reply of thunder. You already have a very nice foundation that is very beautiful and introspective and I think that final touch would add a nice conclusion to the poem.

[?]

I agree with Lily Mae 100% I always seem to get lost in your words...and I love the way you express your words, thoughts, dreams, and yes hopes...Such a beautiful peaceful poem...
Sometimes you just make me "sigh" lol

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you PerlySunflower :)

[Poppie Mira]

your powerful images take me to this futuristic scene, best wishes in the contest and huggs!.. a gem!

[Neva Flores Smith - Changefulstorm]

Thank you Poppie Mira :)