Lover’s Light

The inky depth of darkest night

Is broken by the lover’s light

Sprinkled bits read from afar

Our love is written on a star.

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Very simple - perhaps a little too simple? There's nothing innately wrong with quatrains, but the rhyming on this one seems a little too childish for my tastes - perhaps break it up into A - B - A - B instead of A - A - B - B? Just a suggestion. As it stands, your content is good, and there's plenty of meaning that can be gleaned from this piece, but as it stands I'm just really not feeling it. It's a good sentiment, but I can't help but feel as though it could be expressed better.

[Cheri Roberts]

Thank you for your review. It is probably the shortest and simplest "poem" I have ever written actually. It was written for someones tattoo so it had to be small :)

[Jack...]

"Our love is written on a star" I like this, it say so much in so few words. Nice.

[Cheri Roberts]

Thank you. I thought so :)