Homecoming

sometimes eyes fall to tell us what we see

“…108, 109, 110. Wow, my abs are screaming.  That will have to do for now.” She said as she turned to look in the mirror. Staring in the mirror she could plainly see she would have to keep this up for the next two weeks if she wanted to fit in her old Homecoming dress. She could afford a new evening gown, but after 25 years she wanted nothing more than to walk through that door in that old dress.

Coffee and a ½ grapefruit for breakfast and lunch. A chicken breast for dinner. She could do it. With each passing day, she felt closer to her goal and with each passing day she would add a ten count to all of her routine.
 
 
 
The day went by quickly as she attended to her work.
“Hey, Shelly would you like to eat lunch with me today my treat?”  Nadine gave her best smile.

“Thanks for the invite but I’m going to squeeze in a 20 minute run over lunch.”

Nadine frowned and walked toward the front door. Within minutes James looked into her office. He fiddled with his hair before speaking.

“Alright sexy grab your purse, we’re doing lunch.” Shelly only shook her head ‘no’, with a small giggle and continued to work. With a deflated expression James turned to go.

Finally, she was ready to take her run.  She clipped her Walkman to her running pants. She smiled that old walkman was so out of date, then again so was she.
Four lunges and a few hamstring stretches, and she was off. She was singing to, The Eye of the Tiger, I love Rock N’ Roll and ...we will, we will, rock you.. all songs played for her senior Homecoming.

The run energized her. She felt empowered full of life, and young. She hadn’t felt this good even back then and with that, she decided to skip lunch and sip her apple cider and lemon juice cleanse.

Time raced by as the big day grew closer. At this point, she feared she had failed to reach her goal. With only hours until her big event, she was feeling the strain of her strict route. In 33 hours she would be standing in the Cain’s Ballroom. She was covered in nostalgia. She glanced down at the tiny photo in her hand. She had been carrying it for the last week, for moral support. A last ditch effort to motivate herself to lose those last few pounds.

She glanced at the picture of the four girls’, sisters at heart. True friends, through all the years. They had scattered across the South but were only a phone call away. They were her go-to girls, whenever a pick-me-up was needed, like when she went through her divorce. 
 
Without warning her heart began to race. Beads of sweat swept across the back of her neck and her ears began to ring. Just that fast the world began to spin and in mid-stride, she passed out in front of the entire office. Nadine and James sprang to their feet. Nadine burst into tears, she had feared this day was coming.

The paramedics were there in a flash. They had her loaded on the stretcher in a fast three minutes.  The medic removed a rubber band from her wrist. It held her old faded picture of homecoming. There was no doubt she was the girl in the center. A bright-eyed girl full of hope. She was a tall slender girl wearing the homecoming tiara. He glanced down at this frail and gaunt woman, who would certainly miss her 25th homecoming ceremony and need to add a sound 15 pounds, for that old dress to fit once again. 

Reviews

[Laura Coleman-Heyne]

Great story! I was completely drawn in and felt it had a very satisfying ending, although that shouldn't be the right word because it wasn't very satisfying for poor Shelly. As I read though I just noticed a few grammatical things, minor things. In the second sentence of the final paragraph the comma shouldn't be there. I also felt that the name Sam was distracting. By naming this person I felt she/he must have appeared in the story earlier and I read back through looking for a reference. If he/she is just one of the paramedics, maybe its better not to bother giving him/her a name. The second sentence in the second paragraph should probably be broken into several sentences. Also, when she nodded no, that felt awkward. Shouldn't she shake her head no, or nod for yes? 'Finally she was ready for her run' is a complete sentence and the rest is another.
I really enjoyed this and look forward to reading more of your writing.

[Cherrie]

Laura, you are so right. The appearance of the name Sam is jarring. Thank you for the review I will edit this very soon.

[Cherrie]

I appreciate your review

[emmajoy]

What a surprise ending, cleverly achieved too with a well laid chain of words!

All in all i thought this is a really sound and well written tale, could even be an introduction for a novel or novella.. moving back in time perhaps? You create quite an atmophere,add la few embellisments but don't over-do Would suggest you edit (this is pot calling kettle black here - believe me!), especially punctuation and a few typos. Would definitely recomment it!

[Cherrie]

thank you, :) and I will give her an once over. :)