Embittered

Finally, the spinning of the water wheel stopped. Replaced by soft droplets of water. Drips that gently pinged into the pool. Soon, faded, as the final ringlet fanned. With neither wind or current silence swelled to a hum.

A single Water Lilly bobbled as a dragonfly encroached on its boundaries.

Clouds stalled overhead dulling the waters surface shrouding the mystery beneath. While a curtain of auburn entangled the reeds.

A dove cried retelling the sorrows of death. A mockingjay taunts the intruder relaying deeds done.

Raccoons chitter and squirrels chatter angrily and as a single bubble escaped the water.

...and the spirit asends...

Death, is awakened to a missed step in time and the cottonmouth waits to taste the embittered.

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Lovely descriptive piece. I found my mind returning to the mystery beneath the water's surface pondering on possibilities. I loved your image of a single water lily , that was beautiful. Very nice composition here Cherrie.

Chris

[Cherrie L Bill]

Thank you. I liked the idea of nature being a witness to a crime and nature doling out justice.

[William Michael Reeves]

Hi Cherrie. Bill got bit by a snake yesterday and died. In my lonely grief I thought I would read your story to cheer me up. I had a hard time figuring it out. So in an effort to understand your story I turned it into a Garland of Cinquain...

Wheel stopped
Replaced drops drip
Softly swelling silent
Winds halt shrouded sad mystery
Stalling

Auburn
Draped in dead reeds
Singing storied sorrows
Doves cry lonely lillies devil
Dragons

Fly soft
Two land on one
Entangled in wet song
Mocking bitter time taunting Jays
Invade

Bubbles
Tasting chatter
Awakened by death's deeds
Patient snakes listen to mad prey
Hungry

Fat clouds
Squirrel sky nuts
Dropping shells of time rain
On 'coons bugging birds swamped nymphs die
Poisoned

Wheel stopped
Draped in dead reeds
Entangled in wet song
Patient snakes listen to mad prey
Poisoned

Now it all makes sense! You had some interesting ideas that were hiding in a rainforest of words. Anyways, I'm going to grab the next poem you write and give it to Bill as an antidote. Should suck the venom right out of him. Write you later!

Billigami

[Cherrie L Bill]

I knew this poem is a little different. I wanted to let nature convey the story.

[William Michael Reeves]

Different means imaginative! And your Imagination is inspiring. You had some wild ideas in the story and it seemed set up for Cinquain because your paragraphs were short. Then I folded them all up jumping around on the Lillie pads you laid out. I tried hard to make it read like one long line and somehow make the close tell your story in a nut shell. This one might be a little long for my next poetic reviews. Help Cherrie! If you weren't already convinced, I'm obsessed with poetry, I've been doing this almost every day. The day before Relic's poem 'The Mightiest Words' got one. You might like that. And Lisaview's 'Push' the day before. Karen and Kathy Sue write children's books and work with kids. I have no children and never been around them. They're little aliens to me. So I'm trying something different and taking one of their stories and see if I can get my 'Geisel' on and write for kids...and adults. I just finished the first stanza and know you'll like it a lot. Finished another sonnet for Richard sending for approval now. Thanks for your inspiration and keep it coming. It's the antidote for blah. Eat your heart out Jay! (Not that I would ever be mocking him)

[Cherrie L Bill]

In this poem the idea is a crime occurred and the only witnesses were nature and of course Death and they (nature) mock him as he leaves the crime scene and the 🐍 waits to administrator justice.
I can't wait to read your new poem (once approved of course).

[Cherrie L Bill]

When you write for children think simple and animated.

[lightsong]

I hear silence through your words, someone who lost the tongue and only listen and listen to life and beauty... yet feeling not alive. for me this is not about Death as more about depression and despair. You wrote a superior poem about it in a very unique way.

[Cherrie L Bill]

I thought it would be fun to let nature reflect on the story.

[Murugan Appa Ponappan]

So sweetly written. I love this reading.

[Cherrie L Bill]

Thank you again. I'm thrilled you are enjoying my writing.

[Miss Sharon]

(A single Water Lilly bobbled as a dragonfly encroached on its boundaries.) This is a beautifully poetic line! Love the entire write. ~Sharon

[Cherrie L Bill]

Thank you so much I wanted to rethink this event fro nature's view.