The Curtain of Night

Villanelle 19 lines Aba, ab1, ab3, ab1, ab3, ab13

"Shall we begin?" asks the Sun.
Casting his light for the Sky to see.
But the curtain of Night still hung.

While fading stars grew sullen.
toward the horizon, the light was carried.
"Shall we begin?" asks the Sun.

I have the Night on the run.
The wafting breeze has found its qi.
But the curtain of Night still hung.

Coy was the wind as to the mist it clung.
Waltzing across both land and sea.
"Shall we begin?" asks the Sun.

Who grew impatient and wanted fun,
and so, he rose, shining over the lea.
But the curtain of Night still hung.

As Night's morning vespers were spun,
thinning to a milky tea.
"Shall we begin?" asks the Sun.
But the curtain of Night still hung.

Reviews

[PaleWriter]

Nicely done. I like the repetition of the sun sound.

[Einstein Noodle]

i love this Cherrie! well done .. the work you put in and intelligent use of the language in such a glorious personification of the Sun .. i let big Beau out just this morning (about 5:30) and as is my want .. stepped out on the front deck to check for ol Sol .. but the night was still hung .. very notable as nights are getting longer .. in you "night" is feel the gentle reminiscence of past losses and sadness .. really enjoyed your villanelle .. thanks for sharing!
E.

[Cherrie]

Thank you Gene 😊

[Twilight]

A lovely rhyming scheme, with an eloquent use of words; which is in part what poetry should be about.

[Sami Khalil]

An adorable poem with conversation. Good title, repetition, flow.

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

Morning, Cherrie Palmer, I like this poem, most edifacitly,
I love the impatience of the sun, as you beautifully wrote,
and how it wanted to have fun,
it is tale and I much adore it; ---Maynard

[Cherrie]

Thank you Maynard 😊

[1809 Black Plague December]

you are most welcome, Dear. :)

[W. Barrett Munn]

Very nice, Cherrie. The villanelle is a challenging form to write well but you have managed it.

Winston

[Cherrie]

Thank you Winston
I like writing ✍️ these. Once I decide which lines I will repeat, it writes itself.

[W. Barrett Munn]

I found the hardest thing is the end rhyme in the non-repeated lines

[Cherrie]

Yes it takes me a minute or two to decide which lines I will repeat. While keeping my frame tight so the lines are both the core and an echo.
This is one of my favorite forms to write. I need to write more of them.
I also like to write them in pairs. Emphasizing a different line.

[emmajoygreen]

You are as near to be the queen, the mistress, of this genre, Cherie, every stanza echoing the touch of another, yet subtly doing what it should. How beautiful.

[Cherrie]

Emma you are too sweet 😋. Thank you for such a generous review.
I love this format it makes a powerful poem and often times I'll write two of them choosing a line from the first to carry over to the second.
You would be great at these.

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Cherrie... I still adore your Poem... as it encompasses our Weather pattern for the last few weeks. Just today... the Sun rose bright and is holding it's Golden Light. An early Autumn breeze sings with the feathered Beauties with Wings. tenderly, Pat

[Cherrie]

I love am early morning breeze a welcome prelude to Autumn 🍂

[Arundass TP]

Beautiful poem on day and night episodes. Good work 👍

[Cherrie]

Thank you Arundass

[Relic]

Beautifully rendered like a piece of art. :))

[Cherrie]

I completely missed you and Betty came by for a read 📚 I'm sorry it took me this long to discover your review. 😊 thank you my friend.