Shade of the Sunlight

This was the essay which I credit towards my beginning love for writing. It's from freshman year in high school, and I still remember my teacher being struck by it's unusual style..

A sun dimmed to a soft egg yolk pastel. Yellow. My least favorite color. And yet, I wait for it, in hopes I’ll get to see it for longer than just a week during summer vacation.

A single place can be the entire world. A moment in time. Or a room, powdered in daffodil. 

One step inside, and I’m 5 again, sloshing around in my inflatable pool...6 again and fumbling ecstatic to be celebrating my first birthday in America...7 again and coercing my cousin to take on the meter high roller coaster...8 again... 

A lone tread uncorks memories stashed away in my subconscious from years past. How can a space where a bed absconds half its area encompass my childhood? 

My quotidian haze of enervation from a day’s drudgery wanting interlude institutes a sense of despondency that only a panacea, my lemon chiffon room, can eradicate. If I had a transportation charm though, I would ferry myself over into this elfin expanse, disappearing from the perturbation of one world into my own which exists lifetimes beyond their capabilities. Without this haven I am an inert volcano detaining and yearning release; bottled up then pried loose as divergent paroxysms inevitably follow.

I’d lie upright on the berth, intoxicating myself with the siren’s enticing perfume of sweet salt and tranquilizing ions-the everyday specialty of the ocean. Then, an engine’s distant tremor will reverberate through the air and dissipate into a stifled whistle past the bungalow, its fading Coquelicot taillights smearing the night.

The fan’s dial stations on medium high, its oscillation forging feathery blades of wind, each stroke a duet by thrums and breezes of a soundless lullaby. 

I don’t dream. 

Everywhere else. Not here.

I just sleep.

Seven days is all I get in this room, seven days of the year. But so much can happen in seven days, so much can occur. Only here, wrapped in pale sunshine, can I ever rest.

Author's Note

A one page assignment to describe our favorite place. I chose this little bungalow I always stayed in with my family over summer vacation. I truly love that place and miss it, but the memories are fond and forever.

Reviews

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

I like the wordplay. Many hesitate, fearful of the reader's reaction. This is eloquent. Sensations of appreciation for your favorite place wash over the reader. I admit I needed to look some up. That helps us grow in our own vocabularies. Lovely work. Regardless of age.

[Chryiss]

Thank you!! Yes for sure! In my search for the ideal word choice, I end up researching and learning about many words. And anything new I come across in other people's writing, I also make sure to learn and write down!
I'm glad you felt my appreciation for my favorite place. I explained it in a sort of bizarre way haha, so I'm glad the feelings came through.

[alanwgraham]

Very impressive Chryiss. The vocabulary and the style with lots of nice images bringing your favourite place to life. I have benefited greatly Here from constructive reviews (few and far between I'm afraid). My own opinion is that you have got carried away with the language and missed that the purpose is communication. Great writers usually use fairly simple language but to great effect. I can see that this is an early piece and I'm guessing that you have figured this out yourself.
All therewi


All the best with your writing.
Alan

[Chryiss]

Yes for sure! This my first "true shot" at creative writing, and at the time those years ago I was very in love with language, word connotations, and sounds. I still am, but for sure, I don't get carried away as much~ (hopefully lol)

[Chryiss]

Oh dear! I can't believe I hit post before I could say, Thank you so much for stopping by to impart your thoughts! (I'm also rather late because of some rl issues that arose) All the best to you~!

[Desert Knave]

Easy to see / smell / feel the place through your words. AN excellent write. ~Jim

[Chryiss]

Glad to hear it evoked your senses. Thanks for stopping by! :)

[Crowley]

Your teacher had to be ecstatic!! That is a great piece especially for a freshman in high school. The vocabulary alone would put 99.9 percent of the freshman, most people for that matter to shame. A cool, nostalgic and relaxing tone. Loved this!!!

[Chryiss]

Thank you so much! Haha, actually my teacher was so bewildered by this piece she had to talk to my eight grade teacher to ask about my writing style. My eight grade teacher just said to deal with it lol.
I love vocabulary and the sounds, feelings, and connotations of words! For example, I love the word reverberate. I'll ponder on a single word choice in order to get the right emotion/tone I'm feeling/imagining.