The Stiletto Queen

A Story by Cookie

A single mother with nine children successfully manages the struggles of life and moves to the suburbs.

Once upon a time, in the bustling heart of a lively city, there stood a peculiar three-story mansion shaped like a giant red stiletto. This was home to Ruby, a sharp-tongued, street-smart 26-year-old single mother with a knack for turning life’s lemons into lemonade or, in her case, turning baby daddies into income streams. Ruby had learned the secrets of how to manipulate government benefits programs at an early age. Combined with the child support, she knew she would have it made. She would be able to enjoy the extravagantly wealthy lifestyle she desired.

Ruby wasn’t always like this. Growing up, she’d dreamed of becoming a fashion designer, imagining a life far removed from the chaotic world she now inhabited. But life, as it often does, had other plans. One heartbreak led to another, and before she knew it, Ruby had nine kids, each fathered by a different man. Now she was far from the low income housing she had grown up in and she was going to use her skills to survive and thrive.

Instead of wallowing in regret, Ruby turned her situation into an enterprise. Her motto? “We made the kids. I’m raising them. so pay up big man!”

This left Ruby with plenty of cash to enjoy the finer things. Fancy clothes, fine wine, a really good babysitter. You know, the essentials of luxury.

Her shoe-shaped house became the stuff of legend. Neighborhood kids whispered about how it was always filled with laughter, shouting, and the occasional crash of a wayward vase. Inside, Ruby was a force of nature, juggling nine children’s schedules, personalities, and quirks like a pro.

Each of Ruby’s nine baby daddies contributed to the chaos in their own way. Some were decent, responsible men who sent regular payments and occasionally dropped by with gifts. Others were unreliable and needed “gentle reminders” from Ruby to remind them what would happen if they didn’t pay. Her favorite reminder was the aluminum little league bat she kept prominently displayed for them to see. After the initial threat, the child support bureau did most of her leg work for free. Then there was Andre, the smooth-talking musician who sent mixtapes instead of money. He was a loser but those were the ones she always fell for, hence nine baby daddies. Like a pimp handed crazy woman, she kept them in line. Ensuring no one got away without paying up.

She was raking it in from the government too. Kids are the key to high dollar benefits. She received housing assistance, a small fortune in food stamps and every one of them received top notch medical coverage. There were too many programs to comprehend. Ruby, however, knew how to play the game and everything just fell in place.

Where Ruby Really made the cash was, you guessed it, OnlyFans. I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.

Despite the madness, Ruby genuinely loved her kids. She worked hard to make their lives joyful, even if she often found herself breaking up fights, refereeing arguments over tablet time, and explaining why they couldn’t adopt a stray raccoon. She taught them resilience, creativity, and how to navigate life’s curveballs. When it all got to be too much or she wanted to go out and get her freak on, she could always call a all star babysitter that was paid for by, who else, the government.

Her neighbors, initially skeptical, grew to admire Ruby’s hustle. Sure, her life seemed chaotic, but her children were happy, cared for, and loved. She threw block parties, baked cookies for school fundraisers, and always made time to help other moms in the community. Everyone else wished they could live it up like Ruby but they just didn’t know the secret.

One day, Ruby’s luck took an unexpected turn. While cleaning out her attic, she stumbled upon her old sketchbooks filled with shoe designs. Inspired, she dusted off her sewing machine and began creating miniature versions of her dream shoes, selling them online. Her side hustle quickly grew and soon Ruby was known not just as the “woman in the shoe” but also as a rising designer in the fashion world. “This could be problematic.” Ruby thought to herself. “I’ll lose all these benefits, be responsible for paying taxes and I’ll never get to spend time with the kids. I’ll have to pay for this life of luxury myself. I’ve got to quit this crap. What was I thinking?” Ruby could be stupid, but she wasn’t a moron. Why would she give up her awesome lifestyle and have to deal with all the hassles and responsibilities that came with working. “screw that!” She thought.

Life in the shoe remained as lively as ever, and Ruby managed to keep the sparkle in her eye. Ruby was the woman who turned every challenge into an opportunity, showed the world that chaos could be beautiful, that family came in all forms, and even a giant red stiletto could be a place to call home.

Ruby eventually sold the red stiletto house and moved the whole family into a pair of Air Jordans located in the suburbs.

They all lived happily ever after.

THE END