Pungent

"Did you get to the part about your personal hygiene yet?"

Piss

 

The woman beside me smells like pee.

 

The rotund old woman sitting beside me smells like pee.

 

She should leave. Exit stage left. Exuent. Take a shower.

 

The more I try to push it out of my mind, the more pungent the oder becomes. There's an invisible mist of pee smelling air shooting out from this woman, filling every corner of the computer lab.

 

 

She smells like pee!

 

----

 

I printed out the complaint. A message in a bottle explaining my situation to the rest of the occupants in the computer lab, the tragic tale of the guy marooned on the last available computer, the guy stuck sitting next to the pee-smelling patron. It sat on the printer for a little while, alone, waiting for someone to read it.

 

The pee smelling woman beside me stood. She was printing out a long webpage, ten or twenty pages.

 

She waddled to the printer and picked up all the paper that was there.

 

As she began fishing through it, I began panicking. My jacket was off. My umbrella was sitting on the table in front of me. I was sweating. Was there a way I could get my jacket on and leave before she came to my note?

 

I stood as casually as I could under the circumstances and began fumbling with the zipper. It became caught on the fabric halfway up; I left while fumbling with it, trying to get it unstuck as I exited the computer lab into the main hallway of the building. I turned back and looked through the glass at her. She was only halfway through the stack. Homefree!

 

As I made my way to the exit of the building, I saw the rain and realized I had forgotten my umbrella.

 

I jogged as casual as I could down the hall and back to the lab to retrieve it. The woman was still fishing through the papers, coming to the end of the stack now, to the note that she had accidentally picked up along with the rest of her stuff.

 

I picked up my umbrella. As I made my way out I heard a very faint gasp behind me. This time, I didn't turn back.

Author's Note

Sometimes I print rambling complaint letters addressed to nobody and leave them to sit. I don't really know why I do it. A quirk I should probably work out.

I think I might be a jerk.

Reviews

[Hedra Helix]

Imho, brilliant funny till here..

The pee smelling woman beside me (abruptly// re? better without IMHO) stood. ( Imho not needed either, makes us woner how you knew, takes us out of the immediacy)--> She was printing out a long webpage, ten or twenty pages.



She waddled to the printer and picked up all the paper that was there.

[Hedra Helix]

sweet;) Oh man, true story im assuming right? Poor lady is probably crying right now. We need to buy you a computer. Public service.