Redemption

I came to you like a thief

A serpent in your precious garden.

I held out a rotting apple

To your pink mouth

For you to taste my past.

Only upon your lips

Am I given redemption.

You eat away the flesh

To expose my naked core

And the seed of a new beginning.

Reviews

[ajasminewallflower]

This really gives me alot of questions.Is this a direct referance to the Bible telling of Adam & Eve and the serpent? I'd love it if you could clear this up for me because its really good.I've read another poem of your and It looks like you have a writing style all your own that is straight to the point...I've never seen those kinds of poems ever written (or that I'm aware of).Keep writing!

[Lori]

This is really built around one of the oldest metaphors, but you use it in such an unusual way that it creates a very original and effective image. It really shows a relationship in which the narrator comes in as a "thief", expecting to entice the other person into a "rotten" world, but instead is reformed or changed by the other person. I'm not a religious person, but with the clear Biblical references (serpent in the garden and apple) you could see a relgious message in it in which the narrator is "saved".

[LeeAnne]

"You eat away the flesh
To expose my naked core
And the seed of a new beginning."

I love these lines. So blunt yet so powerful. Love it.!