hospital (haiku)

spoonfed. down the hall
an orderly coughs. sickness
and sterility.

Author's Note

Sill not too confident about haiku, but whatever.

Reviews

[Mark]

I think this is an excellent example of the form, but might be called a senryu maybe? Haiku is usually dealing with nature, Senryu with human experience.

Whatever it's called, this is an excellent one IMO, I can picture the orderly (looking all sterile) suddenly coughing as he spoonfeeds a patient.

[Kenneth The Poet]

Great piece. This describes the whiteness and paleness of that environ so well.