The Last Fragments Of A Somber Clarity

Tiptoe 

 

around      the          vanishing       lilly        pads 

silky 

                   rivers 

                                  to 

                                                bathe

                                 your

             morning

 breath 

in

and a sea of white oak                           to                      hang your nightgown on. 

The morning flame dances around black flowers

sunlight flickering on our eyelids have gotten us sour. 

Confessions

 in the most

 faithful 

manner 

             

          a gentle wind to embrace our                             

                                                                  t  h  o  u  g  h  t  l  e  s  s  n  e  s  s

stumbling over the rocky edges with dirty knees. 

                                  

                    

                        The

           

                              morning

                                          dew 

                                                comes 

                                                         only 

                                                                 in

 

                                                                      b i t t e r s w e e t 

       

                                                                                                    taste

                                                                                       apologies all strung up on

                                                                                        branches bring cold shakes. 

Falling                      along              with              a            lotus            angel 

one that guides me through the milky verdure

and satisfies my every need.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Artwork and poetry took me to good places and thoughts. I like the flow of thoughts in the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Rhianne Ney]

good write and interesting way of fixing the position of words I love it!

[Dayran]

An adventure into form and non-form, possibly inspired by the dreamy nature of lillies that takes apart all of what we are and look at ourselves anew. Interesting!

[Barbara Walker]

Love those last three lines! And Confessions
in the most
faithful
manner.
I feel like that is a joke you are letting me in on!

[LogoDaedalus]

Interesting venture into concrete poetry. I've noticed a few of your recent works have explored this style. If you're interested in the genre, may I recommend checking out poetry by Bob Cobbing and Alan Halsey, both noted British concrete and visual poets.

I particularly like the lines "and a sea of white oak to hang your nightgown on," and "stumbling over the rocky edges with dirty knees."

Regarding your use of kerning and indentation, it's visually creative but not as effective or intentional as when you used it in "The Nights You Didn't Fall Asleep." The spacing in this one is so extreme that, although you have great imagery and an evocative bittersweet undertone, the impact of it is almost lost on the reader because we are spending more time scrolling than reading.

This comment has less to do with the composition of your poem, but I am curious: When choosing the colours of the text, did you use any art supplies for reference? I could swear I once had a deluxe coloured pencil set with one or two of those names.

[Southern Cross]

Loved the form..music enhanced the mood

[Laura Maidah]

It's not amazing. It's no masterpiece. It's not beautiful. It's not surreal. It's nothing like your video. It's pretty cool to look at and not bad for a poem that gives me the temptation to just skim it because of the vid that inspired it.

[Pax]

amazing!!!
you've done an masterpiece in your words.

[Persephone]

Beautiful :)

[Mockingbird]

very surreal as is your video. interesting, reminds me of o. henry.