Whiten

 

Whiten

-------------------- v-------------------

    I triple, an ocean blue-bodied,

            A darkness visible. My head weird

            Dear woman, you’re my old back,

            My absent collarbones, my skin-sheered.

 

            Let our morning be snuffed under fat,

            Its juice squeezed, our thirst quenched.

     "My dear friend", I ask -- half-assed?

            Let our smells, teeth and souls whiten.

 

                                       

Author's Note

A return.

Reviews

[SHEEMA HUQ]

A request from a pre-cooked animal??, who wants to pale -out with a female??, for Thanks |Giving?, unlike the other birds who roast until golden brown?, only to be consumed, who knows, the mind wonders.....your story is quite bewildering yet most intriguing.

[Corset]

I like the concept of squeezing the juice from a fat morning, though it has a mourning feel it also feels like a longing for the days once pristine, like white, like snow, once a skin , teeth, souls a sullied can they be white washed again? can there be a return to innocence? to fleece?

[Steven]

All white things in nature are hard except sea foam, which isn't really white. I like this bit, especially the juicing concept. Nice.

[Mockingbird]

sure makes you want to read between the lines. very cryptic. great job.

[Samantha Lynn]

I don't really know if I love the poem or the song you put with it because they fit so well. :) They are both wonderful but it helped that I love this song, right?! :D Anyways, keep it up! Loved this. It was beautiful and dark at the same time. The beauty in darkness is always a way to go. At least... that is how I took this poem. IDK how it was meant, but this was my view :P Keep writing

[Rahul]

great piece..it's a nice write to analyse and think of it...isn't it ?
nice;y penned once again...words're powerful indeed.

[Dayran]

It feels a little like the storm blew through the window and left the broken glass on the floor. hi Cole, welcome back.

[Pax]

talking about coming back! .... pretty clearly you've done an excellent comeback..
again you spoke in riddles that make your work really profound...

[Androglossia]

Talking about new start, resurfacing from a long absence? Yeah I feel the like sometimes. Women are great with giving new life or energy to, as in 'energizer':) That's a great usage. Overall, this one is a kickeass kick-start:) Brilliant as always Cole.

[Dean Kuch®]

This was a chilling write, Cole. The eerie music really lent a great deal to the overall presentation. This gave me chills!

Dear woman, you’re my old back,

My absent collarbones, my skin-sheered.

I loved those two lines...