No Hymn

No Hymn 

If there was a time that your absence would be okay

It would be a time after I’ve long passed away

For as long as I am alive I will detest

Any time where your memory gets any rest

 

If there was a time that you would be forgotten

It would be a time unquestionably rotten

For as long as I am alive I will praise you

No hymn quietly sung and no anthem subdued

 

And if there was a time where time has escaped us,

I’d be the f****r kicking up the biggest fuss. 

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

Cole, I love the first stanza. Your deepest feelings come through in the entire poem. It's straight forward, no enigmatic words that make the reader try to guess what you mean. One of the aspects I love about your writings.

[eglantine]

First line, "were" should be "was".

I'm always a fan of religious terms in poetry, especially hymn and with dealing with heartache.

Thanks for sharing.

[Dayran]

One of your best surely ... Cole. I don't think its an anthem though ... neither is it a song. Its a beautification. So who's the lucky gal? Nicely done ...

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the strong statements in your poetry.
"If there were a time that your absence would be okay
It would be a time after I’ve long passed away
For as long as I am alive I will detest
Any time where your memory gets any rest"
The poem open the doors to thoughts and question. I believe we won't complain much when we are gone. Better to raise cane and fuss while we can. Always a pleasure to read your amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Corset]

Cole! you are back! how awesome, this write is very endearing tongue in cheek kind of something special
about a person life would be too short and boring without. Some writers feel that cursing shouldn't be in poems, ( I don't endorse that emotion) at times curse words can place emphasis on a emotion, you are such a versatile writer that you can pull it off without offense, because of the emotion it is emphasizing!

[Michael G.]

An excellent write.
You carried your thought easily throughout the poem. It flowed with ease. You made me feel the love and the passion.
Perhaps the last line is a little flippant or a little casual for such a refined thought as you have created? It still works, though don't you really want her to remember your every moment as much as you do hers?

[Falling Leaf.]

A melancholy sigh of the soul, a memory of a love deep and passionate and true, ringing with the vibrations of your heartstrings. A contemplative, thoughtful, and melodic write, your talent with words is admirable, I enjoyed it, and hope you give us more, albeit I hope heartbreak wouldn't be upon you, when it comes all there is is rain, cold rain that can freeze you forever... Good luck with this love, do write for us again soon.