3

alt title: "romantic comedy cinematography"

3.

once upon a time or twice or thrice

fairytales without fairies cryptids

instead increase copy and paste in

each second foot of landscape we

escape - two of us now - no more

BG actors, minimal scenery,

the widest shot imaginable, the

DP's heartbeat pauses, we are

the only things alive

once upon a time or twice or thrice

no dice, fairytales were buried 

we are the fairies we take their wings

their charm their glee two-feet four-footed

beast skinned in a newfoundland valley 

hips and secret parts coated in sugar 

& honey - our lips are stone our tongues

are tired of licking

i never thought disappearing would be

so appealing

members of heartbreak inc., 

rapidly increasing

Reviews

[TheRaven]

What a refreshing way to describe nostalgia, the process of growing up and our innocence being lost.

But there's that second twist. Childhood naivety and innocence, our wants for adventure being painted by our own vision at the beginning. But, slowly poisoned. Toxic spills of a different person with ulterior motives of the negative sort soiling the image of our own life until it's unrecognizable. So covered, so asleep, so buried under a life we did not choose ourselves.

Heartbreak, inc. Where our childhood dreams go to die, murdered by those who reared us and the unseen evils who reared them. I so enjoyed this...

[kitty blur]

I'm sorry but holy s**t. Have you read David Foster Wallace? For some unknown reason, the ideas and images that I collected throughout this poem reminded me of both his slight pessimism and his inclusion of societal business language to demonstrate the hold that our day-to-day lives are controlled by Higher Powers i.e. large companies and audiences of blind followers. That's probably not what your poem was about, but that's what I thought about as I read it, mostly because of key words and phrases like: copy and paste, members of heartbreak inc. increasing. The contrast between fantasy visuals and then the destruction of those images gave me an interesting feeling. God, I'm fangirling.

I obviously cannot critique this. BRB while I read all of your other poems and let your words saturate my frontal lobe. Thank you for writing.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed this poetry.
"once upon a time or twice or thrice
no dice, fairytales were buried "
The above lines. Solid and honest. I could write a epic poem from. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Dayran]

Its curious to view life as a big screen ... written ... produced and directed ... sometimes with the charm of a fairy tale. Makes me wonder sometimes if we are getting a second chance to get it right.

[Matching Socks]

You paint quite the scene here very skillfully. Nice.

[hellfolia]

your words paint such beautiful pictures - pictures of things that i never would've noticed before but now they''ve been planted in my head they seem to make so much sense. there are parts of this poem that are completely beautiful :

one upon a time or twice or thrice

members of heartbreak inc rapidly increasing.

i'm glad i came across this series of poems because the collection as a whole is so appealing and is worth reading.

[Hailey Juliet]

I'm loving this series of poems so far, you have a real creativity in your writing that i enjoy reading and really admire. You paint pictures with your words, but they don't feel like lofty and pretentious paintings, but something scratched on a canvas with feeling and imagination. Very impressionistic, I love it! I particularily liked how you used this phrase as a repeated motif:

once upon a time or twice or thrice

And this bit here, Jesus christ, is probably my favorite passage of poetry i've ever read, genuinely, I love it!:

hips and secret parts coated in sugar
& honey - our lips are stone our tongues
are tired of licking

Fantastic piece!

[poetdoug]

very creative prose. I like it.