6

alt title: "the perfect life"

6. 

you may eclipse

you might you really might 

there was enough distance taken

that you ended up above me and

i didn't even know 

i press my skin on heart

shaped grates and indentations, 

30 klicks below 

you now

basement in corduroy

velvet covers to enjoy

sex sounds that mimic

the bellow of armadillos,

filmic 

like carpenters 

we make moves on each other

building nothing out of something

woodlouse and woodworkers

firmly squirming on their backs

creative, the positions we

invent 

you bet

there is a considerable amount

of difference between where 

we are and where we want

to be

 

Author's Note

7 8

Reviews

[TheRaven]

So right now, I basically saw this as the act of sex layered with the whole issue of the two lovers' relationship together. Different positions, inventing crazy things like architects. Building sex like building a relationship. There's a far distance between the points you both want to get. God-damn, I loved this. There's so much more to this too, it's a great commentary on romance/relationships and the human race on itself. Alt. title is the perfect life, but is it perfect, is it as perfect as it seems? Maybe not. Maybe yes. Maybe it's perfect for us and that's all we need.

[Corset]

"you now
basement in corduroy
velvet covers to enjoy
sex sounds that mimic
the bellow of armadillos,
filmic

like carpenters
we make moves on each other
building nothing out of something
woodlouse and woodworkers
firmly squirming on their backs
creative, the positions we
invent"

brilliant work, you haven't gotten the least bit soft. I believe you have even gotten better if that is possible.

[Dayran]

A partnership re-examined ... with both sides ... feeling out the direction of the other.

[Coyote Poetry]

The below lines are amazing.
"like carpenters
we make moves on each other
building nothing out of something
woodlouse and woodworkers
firmly squirming on their backs
creative, the positions we
invent "
The description above I liked. Good to be woodworker of our life. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Justine Johnston]

I love the word play here:

"basement in corduroy
velvet covers to enjoy
sex sounds that mimic
the bellow of armadillos"

It makes me nostalgic of an ex-lover. Reminding me of the good times out of a painful time for me. Wrapped in velvet sheets had always been a silly, sexy dream. But, he made it happen. Strange to reminisce on it now. To remember, my memory has been torn apart by repression. But,this poem made me fall in love with a memory as if I was there once more, in bed and in love. Happy.

Thank you.