Valium

A poem about depression.

Valium 

On this light fixture afternoon

I stayed in my bed 

With the covers piled on 

And pillows underneath my head.

The light came in little bits

Chopped in half by the curtains

And laid as streaks 

Across my girlfriends face. 

Punctured like a chain linked fence

Electrocuted as well.

Why is it  the loneliest days 

Always are the nicest?

And why are the best days

Always not the brightest?

These are the questions I ask myself

When my foot falls asleep

And I'm afraid to stand up.

These are the questions that stump me

Again and again. 

This may be all gloom and doom

But it comes from the heart

And on days like today 

That has to count for something.

Even if this may be the end, 

At least there was a beginning.. 

Author's Note

Ignore grammar issues.

Reviews

[Laura Maidah]

First line rocks bananas. The last two lines are banalities you just can't afford.

"Even at the close,
at least there was a touch
of a second beginning."

It's lame, but less cheesy and used then your version IMHO. Now everything else is just GENIUS. Girlfriend's. Apostrophe. Marginal error.

"Why is it the loneliest days
Always are the nicest?
And why are the best days
Always not the brightest?

These are the questions I ask myself
When my foot falls asleep
And I'm afraid to stand up."
Those lines sell it. Very well, I might add.
The next line about questions the speaker poses that stump him/her should be part of the previous stanza. It's part of the same theme and tonal continuity.
It's very thoughtful, introspective, and depressing. Great!

[Coyote Poetry]

Depression is a hard thing to understand. I believe most drugs do more damage then help. I believe the person must desire freedom from pain and escape. I like the description in the poem. Allow the reader to feel the emotion of depression. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[~LadyWolf~]

Very good job Cole!

[Sean]

Agree with the rest. Captured depression with very vivid lively imagery. Good effort!

[Luciole]

Your grammar was fine :) I loved this because it was simple, flowed really well, gave a message, and I was able to relate. Awesome job

And this...

"Even if this may be the end,
At least there was a beginning.. "

Absolutely my favorite part.

[Olivia Marie]

I absolutely loved this. I can relate to this. I also loved how you grouped the lines together. The way you described things was superb. Absolutely beautiful!

[olla]

I hear your heart.. the compassion of my soul is ignited by your words... I have seen the light fixture afternoon reflected in the eyes of a beloved.. yes.. it counts.. well done heart speaker..

there are no grammer issues..

[Celestial Witch Child]

I agree with Maidahl's review. Amazing poem. I am in love. With a few changes it would be perfect.

[Emerald Seas]

Interesting read. Everyone has their moments of depression, but I don't personally understand the long term debilitating kind of depression - brief moments yes... so your lines "Why is it the loneliest days
Always are the nicest?
And why are the best days
Always not the brightest?" confuse me, because I feel that if you can recognize that it is a nice day or one of the best days - how is that depressing? I am sure I am missing something in the whole context of chronic depression, but those lines seem at odds to me with the topic.

[Legolas]

Great poem. I can relate to all of this since I have depression. You've captured depression very well!