Botched

I wanted to try something different.

Why won't somebody help me? 

I've been lying in ditches for centuries, 

Squirming to get any comfort. 

I've watched the turn of the millennium 

From the branches of trees, 

All those fireworks and hurricanes

Just botched and caught the world on fire. 

Is this the price I pay for desire?

I am a rubik's cube, 

Locked inside of fort knox, 

The only way you can reach me

Is if you pick five thousand locks. 

Was that a cry for help?

I am using all of these useless metaphors, 

To distant myself from my darkest fears

So listen here. 

I've come to accept that I'm going to one day die, 

So why waste anymore time in saying goodbye?

I'm finished. 

Author's Note

Something a little different then my usual stuff.

Reviews

[nigrum homonculus]

ok that ending was just crazy. and this stanza

"I am a rubik's cube,
Locked inside of fort knox,
The only way you can reach me
Is if you pick five thousand locks."

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!! that was sick. damn clever. your work gets better and better

[Coyote Poetry]

5000 lock. That is a secure location. A interesting poem. Made me desire to know more. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[eeoopig]

I like this poem :) Strange, but interesting. Flows well, great use (strange, but in a good way XP) of metaphors etc. :D well done!

[Celestial Witch Child]

I love the concept, but the rhyming seems a tad bit astray.

[astoundinglyattractive]

This is absolutely beautiful. Brilliant. Flawless. Phenomenal. Masterful. Noetic. If there were other words to express this pure genius, I would use them- but htey don't exist.
I have never, not once on this site, read a more perfect poem.
Everything about it. I nearly climaxed just reading it.
...
That was a joke.
Yet, it was nearly true.
The flow and pattern were noteworthy and the occasionally spontaneous yet perfectly placed rhymes caught me, right in the heart.
I'm done.
I quit.
No point reading any more poetry, ever.

[Laura Maidah]

"Botched" and "squirming" are used strangely in context. "Fort Knox" is capitalized according to linguistic conventions. I love the "useless metaphors" line. Really beautiful. I don't get the "saying goodbye" thing. It's pretty, but who is the speaker bidding farewell to? There needs to be an object for that particular locution.

[L. Edward Neale]

Interesting work. Brave. It takes guts to stare death in the face. I always think that death gives life its meaning. If there was no such thing as death we'd have to invent it because nothing would ever get done. Death is a very misunderstood in Western culture, which has a very materialistic view inherited from the Greeks. However the Greeks got it wrong,with arrogant masculine philosophers putting so much emphasis on the human form and intellect as the pinnacle of creation. Every Eastern and aboriginal culture on Earth knows that in truth death is actually a rebirth into a different form of conciousness. From one with a physical orientation to a non-physical one. And depending on our Karma we take on more rebirths into physical form until we sort out our Karma.

[olla]

I like this very much.. the first part is like the soup and salad.. and then.. you serve up the main course.... an unexpected pleasure.. a unique style..

[Legolas]

Very powerful poem. I like this one!
Just on suggestion if you dont mind...
Fort Knox should probably be capitalized.
Great poem anyhow!

[Olivia Marie]

This is epic! The ending was unexpected, but at the same time it fit! Absolutely marvelous :) I loved it