This Hole of Mine

A short poem I wrote for the 'Unexplainable' writing contest. (211 words).

The air grows warm

It is bright, children play

All are light, joyous and gay

I look inside, my bones exposed

I feel though I may have imposed

I’ve found a space, abandoned long

I think (although I may be wrong)

That something used to be in this hole of mine

 

The air grows cool

Leaves will fall, trees lie bare

School for all, and fresher air

Out I reach for something lost

Inside the hole grows cold as frost

This space of mine that I cannot see

Once held something belonging to me

Something that once filled this hole of mine

 

The air freezes cold

Many a tiding, coats are donned

The sun is hiding in hills beyond

All alone with this space of mine

I reflect on my life and path behind

I try my best to find a link

But even though all-night I think

I cannot remember what filled this hole of mine

 

The air thaws warm

Everywhere smiles, snow is leaving

And all the while my pain relieving

I have spent too many a year

Wondering why this hole is here

And all along I should have learned

I should have accepted that while I yearned

I may never find what fills this hole of mine

Author's Note

Please critique! I haven't written any poetry since high school, and those works were hardly decent.

Reviews

[Kyle Wieczorek]

I liked it, especially the last few verses which describe/question the wasted time focusing on hurt and pain. The way that the last few verses were worded really grabbed my attention. I don't know why but it made me think of Edgar Allen Poe for some reason. :O

[Constant]

Well gosh I've never been compared to Poe before! Thank you so much!

[Vince]

Really good poem ..... so vague yet so intriguing ..... all the way through found myself trying to conclude what the hole was actually referring to ... love how you ended without closure. Very good poem ... well worth the read

[SweetWriter88]

I have to really give you props! I loved it! I'm not really a poetry person but this really hit me in the feels! It's well written and not overly done. I like how you hooked me from the first couple of lines, yet made me hold my heart till the end. I literally almost cried, it's a beautiful poem with a lot of feeling behind it. Full rating.

[Constant]

Thank you! As I've told other commenters, I'm not much of a poet, but this piece just sort of lined up for me. I'm surprised that so many have enjoyed it, and I'm mostly glad that it has managed to evoke emotion from readers (including yourself) as well! That is my goal in writing, after all :D

[Foster L]

Really cool! I love the structure, how the beginning and end of each part are the same. You found a really strong way to finish without really giving an explanation, or rather you concluded it without finishing the story. Poetry isn't my favorite, but I thoroughly enjoyed this! Well done.

[Constant]

Thank you! Myself, I don't generally write much poetry but this was an exception - glad you enjoyed!

[A Humble Poet]

So beautiful! I could definitely feel the meaning of your words. Bravo my friend, bravo :)
I must know, what inspired this wonderful poem?

[Constant]

If was initially spurred to try a short work of poetry when I saw the "Unexplainable" contest, which is only accepting poems. Entries are supposed to focus on the sensation of missing something you cannot explain, or even identify. I just pulled up some real-life memories/emotions, put them into a rhyme, and changed the subject of my memory to that unexplainable hole I keep bringing up for no good reason in the poem xD

[A Humble Poet]

Woah, I'll have to check that out, thanks!