Plasir d'Amour

Tonight I couldn't even say your name,
Sweet song it is, it was, and wordless now
I wandered the night searching for its fame,
Wet lines like crags, giving cheeks subtle glow.
Beneath the drowsy lights, no sound, I walked
To that place; with my confidences met,
And tried to say it and how? but then balked
As whimpers broke my face to slop and wet.
My pules died in the air; earless, vapid --
And when tried to ask in that after-calm
Why so impossible and so rapid?
Dampened with the answer, dressed in napalm:
To him, flattery, and all my smiles cease.
Tears and poems; thus on the mantel piece.

Reviews

[Obsidian Blackbird McNi..]

cheers, mate, This is utterly heart breaking to me, and good use of the dour wetness to douse your hopeful spirit. When you wrote: Dampened with the answer, dressed in napalm--it really hit home.

thank you for posting this!

[A.Low]

very effective made me really pat attention 2 the emotion in your writting

[Michael X]

not bad, for being halfway there, its still a pleasure to read and the voice, idea and passion spoke aloud,
the issues i see are the punctuation, and the grammar, regarding a few incomplete sentences,
overall, you could turn this into something Grand with a more time and effort on perfection.
thanks for sharing your talent.