Pins and Needles

You remind me of that velvet sewing tomato,

irrevocably bulging with pins

and

needles.

No real purpose at all - just sits there,

consistently jammed full of sharp objects that

make

you

b***h.  It's not even real velvet, either, simply a fabric that I don't remember the name of nor

really

care

for.  Even if the pins and

needles

are used

to repair,

revive

or

remedy...

 

you're still just a sour unrealistic non-velvet tomato left with more empty holes than the leather belt of the universe's largest man.

Reviews

[Miss Coral]

This was amazing.. I wish I could really tell people that they resemble a velvet sewing tomato..

The wit and humor behind this really contrasts what it is saying, but is perfectly balanced and executed.. LOVE the last line.
This is the type of writing I wish I could do.
Excellent job.
c:
Into my library it goes.

100/100
-Coral-

[Hope]

I think you need to put emphasize on the pin cushion... and less on "you"
if you do that it will a more obscure metaphor... which tends to ring a much more poetic sound

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

consistently jammed full of sharp objects that
make
you
b***h

THAT made me laugh aloud.. a decidedly clever write.. and a very apt metaphor *smiles*

[loowzerX]

clever indeed. well written.

[.]

laced with metaphor...(loved it) who's rattled your cage LOL. I like this, it's edgy and taught..nice read

[Bubo]

Very clever! I enjoyed your apt description bringing the pin cushion to life!
Clever!

[_thesovo]

:O Wonderful. x)

this is a definite "oh, ouch"

someone's clearly gotten under your skin.
I wouldn't be able to think of a better metaphor, besides a porcupine.

[Cassiopia Summers]

I like it. I think it conveys great opinion. Wonderful write dear!!