the creeping hour

this was a lil off from the stuff im use to writing, i wrote this on my bday..i kinda proud of it, i steped outside my box lol

Feeling dead,
as a clock creeps forward,
getting closer and closer to the special hour,
seeping deep into my subconcius,
keeping me quietly awake,
motionless to stare,
time echoes in my bleeding ears,
too pure to know this useless age,
dead in thought,
makes the sickness grow louder,
a rock concert sound,
a wild sound,
just a few min. shy of 8 hours,
the clock will take its final chime,
time will take a forbidden course,
no longer in a room of white,
trashed in black satin...

(gonna be more to this one i think...)

Reviews

[mirui]

This piece is wonderfully written.
Excellent choice of words
and
you have great imagery.

[perfectlymetiKulous]

you should definitely be proud of this...
this piece is full of amazing imagery.
my fav lines:
"time echoes in my bleeding ears,
too pure to know this useless age,
dead in thought,
makes the sickness grow louder"


btw - you've got "subconcius", it's subconcious. In case you wanted to be aware. :)
Thanks for sharing, can't wait to read more of your stuff.

[Kelley]

Love the lines.........

"no longer in a room of white,
trashed in black satin..."

Great poem!!! Thanks for sharing.

Kelley

[HamonoAkira]

it's so vague, but the imagery is powerful.