Hell

All to say is that this is about a girl struggling with a evil pressence in her life. One she can never escape from.

 

 

Tired of losing to the evils of hell. The demon himself is always consumed with anger and hatred. The fire that burns him; hear his cries of displeasure. Sentenced to a firing death for thousands of years. To never grow, but to still feel the pain as of dying and the growth of the elders. As I watch him walk towards me; I see a chain in his hands. Swinging the chain in circles. Soon the chain is wrapped around my neck. Swallowing me up in the darkness. I cannot breathe. Barely able to see the angels. There are no angels. I try to hurt him; he laughs at my struggle. Only I can hear his devilish laughter. I too become consumed in his anger. Dispite the fact that I was once normal. I cannot bear to speak of the torment and pain that I have received throughout the years. My screams have grown quiet. It has grown dark over time down here. It seems as if I died. The heat burns my skin. There it is again; his rasping voice whispering in my ear. This place has left an awful stinch to my clothes. I have not the the time to open my eyes.

                              Trufully I know I am in Hell.

 

Author's Note

Tell me what you see? If you were in her shoes; what would you feel?

Reviews

[SilentDream]

This short line lingered for me:

It seems as if I died.

What comes to mind is that, she is convinced of where she is especially with the closing line
but I go back to the thought... it Seems as if...

Her reality has her shaken. And you expressed very nicely.
I wanted to read more!

Pen on
((Hugs and LOve)) ~SilentDream

[InkBlack]

"Barely able to see the angels. There are no angels" that was the ONLY line that really bothered me. Idk, it just didn't seem to make sense to me to have angels and then not have them. I would recommend saying something like "I can barely see the angels. Suddenly I realize that there are no angels" or something like that :) But if you like it like that, then that's cool.

Other than that, it was a great poem, very vivid and dark. I could feel the emotions of the girl in the poem and I would hate to be in that kind of a position and you can't help but feel sorry for her and want to kill the demon that's torturing her. I'm kind of writing about something similar only in more of a novel form. Mind if I use this for inspiration?

[xxx_MangaGirl_xxx]

16 year old me went through some things that shouldn't have been an issue at that age. That shouldn't have existed. I got an email reminding me to log in. That i was missed. I have grown much. But still those feelings of defeat linger.

[xxx_MangaGirl_xxx]

thankyou

[Berserker[Diktator Von ..]

This was a great piece...with a nice dark tone...Great job..I loved the imagery....=)

[xxx_MangaGirl_xxx]

It was a dark time in my life. Really brought out the writer in me i suppose