I saw her again

My companion was at a loss

Her male friend was on a Round the World cycling tour

How long was not known

So also at a loss we just tagged along together for the winter socials and dinner/prize presentations

 

We went to a do - Her Maiden Aunt came too - To keep her from mischief

Aunt had raised her and lived in her home 

If she got married aunt may have to leave

 

I saw my vision we had a dance

Aunt wanted to go home

I returned to the dance and had another dance with my vision

Her friend called to take her home

No time to swap details - She was gone

Once more 

Reviews

[Bootleg]

In summary: woman, whose friend was gone went to a party with the narrator and her aunt. Her aunt raised her and resides alongside her until she gets married. Then, in the narrators vision, they "had a dance" but the aunt wants to go home. Just before the narrator and the woman could properly introduce themselves, she left.

Not bad. Too basic, but not bad. Also, what style of poetry is this? Seems so random.

One problem: The lack of meter ruins the poetry.

[Wild Rose]

sAD - WE CANT PLEASE EVERY BODY
tHIS WAS AN EARLY WRITING SAD

[Neville]

written precisely as I imagine it was... a nice little social narrative and, or observation.....enjoyed... Neville

[Wild Rose]

Thanks > Social narrative >>> We eventually met and got to talk >>>> For years

[Neville]

hey a happy ending too, even better...... N

[Sami Khalil]

I like how this poem keep the reader wanting more details. A sad ending perhaps.

[Wild Rose]

Thanks for reading > No not sad yet

[Sami Khalil]

OK. You are welcome.

[Ghost]

Leaves one hanging waiting for a conclusion... I like the air of mystery to this write thank you for sharing....

[Wild Rose]

Part 3 has been posted Thinking what to do next

[ScaredSilent]

Mysterious poem leaves the reader with wondering.

[Wild Rose]

Part 3 has been posted

[Joltara]

Oh my, it seems there is so much more going on here and I wonder if this a missed opportunity or an opportunity in the making?

[Wild Rose]

Joltara > More going on

[Chris Shaw]

Definitely the start of a story here without doubt. What happened next?

Chris

[Wild Rose]

Made up as I went along >> with countless interruptions for help in the kitchen

[Chris Shaw]

Ha ha. Inspiration while doing the dishes. I like it!

[Wild Rose]

hot /heavy dishes >> Cant trust her not to drop them > Ah well that's life AND I do like her cooking . small price to pay

[Chris Shaw]

a small price indeed.

[sette]

and there were endless questions which remained unanswered

[Wild Rose]

A simple idea grew into a serial >> with interruptions on the way

[Laurierose]

This really did seem like the makings of great story here. If so, I'd definitely give it a read. This was very fascinating. Great read.

[Wild Rose]

Thanks for your comment
I will be posting - what was planned as the finale - shortly _ But it is not the end _ The end of the beginning

[Laurierose]

Great! Can't wait!

[JayG]

You've written the synopsis, now write the story.

[Wild Rose]

Thank yo Jay > Final part (as planned) to be posted
After that ???