Crushed (Chapter 1)

Frankie's been crushing on Jared for what seems like forever. A funny tell-all of a high school freshman.

 I can remember the first time I ever laid eyes on Jared Storm. It wasn’t love at first sight, I’ll tell you that. I was at school on a Monday morning, feeling groggy with my lank hair pulled into a ponytail and my seventh grade face virgin to makeup. I seem to remember being very stressed. Not about him, but a math test I had that day, and I was lugging my books to the library for some extra study time. Not looking where I was going, I bumped into him.
 “I am so sorry…” I said, picking up my book and loose papers.
 He picked up his book bag, gave me an annoyed look, and muttered something along the lines of ‘pesky little kids’. That’s what I was to him, a pesky little kid. Well, he was three years older than me, a sophomore, so it was excusable. I felt a strange embarrassment for the first time since Emily Chair poured diet Coke over my head at her party a year ago. I just couldn’t get this mysterious boy out of my head. He ran through my mind, taking my hard hours of studying with him. I failed the math chapter test, but little did I know, my own life had begun a new chapter…
                                 *
 “Wake up, Frankie!" My sister knocked on my door as my alarm went off simultaneously, signalling the first day of ninth grade. I was a freshman. No longer a pesky little kid. I lept out of bed, which surprised me because usually I literally have to haul myself out of bed, even on weekends. I raced over to my closet, where my perfectly planned outfit had been hibernating for several weeks now. This was the day Jared was going to notice me. Even if he did have a girlfriend.
 I admired myself in the mirror, critiquing my black leggings, plaid skirt, and black lacy top. I liked to think I looked mysterious and slightly dark. Jared certainly had that air around him. I hoped he would see me and think “who is that girl?” hopefully forgetting any memories of a pesky seventh grader with greasy hair.
 After breakfast, I took the school bus, calming my nerves by listening to my music loudly. I put my mp3 player on shuffle, and weirdly Garbage’s “You Look So Fine” came on. That song only summed up the way I had been feeling about Jared for the entirety of my life post seventh grade.
 You look so fine, I want to break your heart and give you mine. You’re taking me over…
 It was true. Jared had taken me over. I felt like a spy on a mission, determined to reach my goal—and that of course was dating the completely gorgeous Jared Storm.
 I’m not like all the other girls. I won’t fake it like the other girls. I won’t share it like the other girls that you used to know…
 That was also true. I was the polar opposite to his girlfriend, Kassie Lennocks. She was a senior too, and it was extremely obvious that she was only dating Jared for status. He wasn’t exactly popular, but he had a certain edge to him that many identified with. He was everyone’s friend. Everyone apart from me. He and Kassie had been dating for about a year now, ever since they got together at out conjoined high school/middle school Halloween dance. She was dressed as an unoriginal, s****y looking fairy with a miniskirt and wings commonly seen on six year old girls. Of course he thought it was cute. I thought he looked cute, even though he wasn’t really dressed up. He wore quite realistic looking vampire fangs and all black. I can remember thinking that if he really was a vampire, I wouldn’t half  mind getting bitten by him.
 Knocked down, cried out, been down just to find out. I’m through bleeding for you…
 How appropriate a line! I thought, as the bus pulled into the school gates. Only I’d never be through bleeding for Jared Storm. Not until I had him in my hand like putty.
                                *
 A mass of bright red hair blocked my vision as my best friend, Nikita, raced over to me and enveloped me in a hug.
 “Omigod! I haven’t seen you in ages!” She shrieked.
 “Nik, I saw you last week. We went to the mall…”
 “Oh, right.” She said, playing with a strand of her newly dyed hair. This was typical Nikita, ditzy and forgetful, but hilarious at the same time.
 “I love your hair.” I added, “suits you…”
 “I’m thinking about going back to blonde.”
 That was the other thing that set Nikita apart from the crowd. No-one had seen her natural hair color since sixth grade.
 “Cool.”
 “Soo, have you seen him yet?”
 “Who?”
 “Jared.”
 “Shh…no, I haven’t yet.”
 “Well you look good, so hopefully he’ll dump that awful Kassie and ask you out!” She smiled.
 “Unlikely, but I do hope so.”
 She nodded. “Please, you’ve got so much more than that b***h. The only thing she’s got that you don’t is senior privileges.”
 That in itself scared me. I had been worrying that I was too young for Jared for a long time. The negative thoughts that bounced around my head like ping pong balls asked me things like “what would Jared want with you when he can have a senior girlfriend?”
 “Um, Nik, the bell’s about to ring. I should probably go find my homeroom…”
 “Who do you have?”
 “Epsworth.”
 “Oh, alright. See you later then.”
 “Bye!” I said, heading down the hallway with my thoughts abuzz.
 And who should cross my path but Jared Storm?
 

Author's Note

First post on here, tell me your honest opinion.

Reviews

[Rose Kavanagh]

I really like it, and I'm not usually big on romances.
It's quite easy to follow, unlike a lot of things I've read on sites like this, and it's very relatable. And I really love how you've managed to make the main character slightly dry and a bit sarcastic, not your average boy-crazy ditz. She has flaws just like everyone else, and isn't some perfect little Mary-Sue.
You're also very good at description, which I think is one of the most important things about writing. I could picture every scene in my head clearly, but you didn't clutter up the flow with unnecessary adjectives, either.
Aside from a couple of very minor grammar mistakes (and that's what editors are for, so I wouldn't worry about that too much) I think you've got a really good thing going! Best of luck! ;)